#like buddy please just look critically upon yourself for once

[melancholy-thots]

Moving Problems

So I've been thinking about moving, and one of my friends wants me to move in with them. Their roommate is moving out, so it's good timing for them. Plus they own their place instead of rent, so the costs will be less for me. So what's the problem? Why am I putting this on my venting blog?

There is nowhere for me to live there. Honestly, I don't know how the current roommate functions. This person keeps their place a pigsty. There's junk all over the floor, and when I tried clearing a path to help me not step on some of the multiple thousands of dollars worth of stuff they keep lying on the floor, my friend actually made fun of me for how stupid it was. Just don't step on the extremely expensive objects that you don't know where they are in the pile, loser.

And when we were at a dinner the other day, my friend was like "yeah, I don't see how all you bougie Americans live in such big houses, where I live right now is perfectly sized." And I just can't stop thinking about it whenever I consider moving in. Like yeah. Of course you don't want more space. But there's literally no space to bring in a single other person, let alone most homes are meant for families. Honestly there's not even enough space for this one person if they didn't pile all their belongings up on the floor. Any level of organization with that many belongings would require a larger space

[kallulovesu]

Heyooo :) can you do headcannons for a platonic yandere allies ?? Am aroace so that's the kind that floats my boat, also do you ever feel tired of writing ?? Like .. ur so productive, it's awsome but like .. I hope ur doing it cuz u have energy not cuz you have followers waiting 😬 take care Plz ❤❤🥺

For the anon that asked that yandere reader ask, thx u inspired this ask ur idea is rad :3

(A/N:) ahh thank you for the worry anon, but it’s no problem really!💞 I wouldn’t be making as much content if I wasn’t having any fun, since it’ll probably end up feeling more like chore...and I hate doing chores 😭

That one protective friend that makes sure to check up on you every second (but it’s turned up to the extreme and downright becomes unhealthy in some cases)™

It was ironic to him. Out everyone that he had gotten to know over all these years— hell, perhaps even Arthur; you were the only one he felt like understood him the most. Not many seemed to notice what was going on beneath the surface of his facade, which was why he appreciated you being there. You still liked him despite the many flaws that he had, and tried your best being with him even if it became downright tiring. Alfred would be heavily dependent on you because of this, often going to you to cheer him up— or before he was going to make a rash choice.

So it was only natural that he couldn’t see himself being without you.

You were like a best friend to him; Alfred would even go as far as to say that he felt a familial connection between the two of you. So the deep desire to protect you was normal, wasn’t it? Even when he felt himself worrying for your well-being at even the slightest approach of a stranger, it was just his instinct telling him that there was something wrong. It wasn’t anything unhealthy. Thus, would usually drag you away from anyone that he found to be suspicious; even those he was already familiar with. This would probably result in a lot of arguments, with him trying to say what was ‘best for you’ and with you denying that you needed this much...protection. You swore that it almost felt like he was just isolating you from the others, to have you purely depend on him for whatever reason you couldn’t make up.

Alfred can’t handle being apart from you— nonetheless the idea of you being angry with him, or even hating him . It truly didn’t matter if the reason was rather ridiculous or not, the idea of you hating him just...made his stomach churn uncomfortably. You were his best buddy, and basically one of the only ones he could trust with his inner worries; and the risk of it all being taken away from him because of a silly, childish mistake was all it took to send the poor boy into a state of panic. Please don’t leave him, he’d do anything to keep you there with him. Begging, gifting— you name it.

Arthur didn’t completely seem to realize his feelings at first, confusing it with romantic attraction for a little while— before quickly seeming to realize that it was all purely platonic. He did feel a bit protective of you, maybe even possessive...but it had nothing to do with romance, nor lust. It was just him wanting to have someone beside him, someone that he could call a friend. And someone that would never leave his side.

It won’t be hard to notice how...bad his communication skills were; with him often saying things that he didn’t really mean and slightly setting you off. Arthur is stubborn, so it may take some time (and slight teasing at how much he hesitated) for him to actually apologize. You’ll probably get used to it after a while, since he’s one big tsundere.

Saying this out loud was an absolute no-no for this man— but you being around Arthur was often enough to make him the slightest bit happier. It felt a bit lonely at times, especially with less and less people being around him these past few years. So having you as a friend almost felt like a breath of fresh air.

He’s very critical of those you choose to be around with, often analyzing even the smallest of things so he can determine if they’re actually worth being around you. Which more often than not ends up... not being the case. Arthur will tell you to stay away from them; saying that they were suspicious, and probably had something bad in mind. He’ll resort to isolating you if you were to disobey him, trying to take as much of your attention— and perhaps even kidnapping you if the extreme were to happen. You were his one and only best friend, and he had to make sure you were safe. Always.

Totally the big brother type...well, he usually proclaims himself as being one, so it isn’t that much of a surprise.

Francis will make sure to absolutely pamper you with his attention; hanging out with you, sending letters whenever he was too busy...and simply sending gifts from France. He simply couldn’t let you go off feeling unloved!

He adores talking about you; usually going off on a mindless ramble whenever someone even mentions your name, like a proud father showing off his child. Others will usually compare him to one due to how much he adores talking about you— or simply the way that he treats you. Which would quickly be disregarded with a: “oh, I’m no father! They’re just such a nice little friend to have around, who wouldn’t want to praise such a delicate person?”

On a second note....he actually did feel like a father figure to you. Huh.

Francis will often suggest helping you out with your love life, perhaps even gushing over cute guys together that you found on a random dating app— before quickly realizing that he didn’t really want this. Those silly moments were fun and all, but having you talk with someone that could just be out to use you made him a bit angry...and paranoid, mainly the latter. He will make sure that anyone that even so much dares to get close you first gets his approval first. The feeling of a broken heart was all too familiar to him, and he didn’t want you to experience such a thing.

This may result in him checking up on you...an awful lot, making sure that those around you were only the best of the best and wouldn’t end up being bad influence to you. Yes, he truly was like a father.

A sibling-like person in his life that he didn’t feel insecure against and acknowledged him as his own person? Fuck yes!!

Jokes aside— Matthew really does care deeply for you. Perhaps it was due to the Canadian barely having those that he could...truly call close friends, so having you around almost felt like a blessing. Unlike Francis, he won’t really show you off or talk about you much, especially around his brother. The American had already stolen enough from him, so why would he let something like that happen again?

He’s extremely wary of anyone that even so much tries to make a move on you. It’s just...you were someone that he held extremely dear; and having you potentially getting hurt due to some lowlife that managed to slip into your life would absolutely break his heart. Matthew didn’t want to fail in protecting you, he would never forgive himself if something like that were to happen.

Losing you is something that he wishes to avoid completely. He’ll even go as far as kidnapping you if it came down to it, Matthew just couldn’t see himself living happily without you by his side.

Yao likes cute things...and you’re a cute friend, so it’s a perfect match!

But seriously, he thinks that you’re absolutely adorable. Whether it be because of your personality— or your appearance, it really doesn’t end up mattering in the end. You’re his cute little friend, and that’s all that matters!

He’ll often treat you with more, yet gentler care than most of the others around him. He knew that you were well capable of taking care of yourself; but he just couldn’t help but see you as something fragile, something that he had to protect. So you can already imagine how frustrated he gets when someone treats you with even the slightest bit of disrespect— Yao will often confront them immediately, while you awkwardly have to sit back and watch it all. Almost feeling pity for the person that had to endure your friend’s seemingly never-ending complaints.

Oh, he probably doesn’t quite realize how he comes off as a father at times; seeing how much he’ll scold you for the smallest mistakes (while making sure to correct you of course!) and how he usually made decisions for you, making it hard to refuse his gestures due to his pushy nature. But it’ll probably become a normal thing for the two of you as time progresses, since it’s just...how Yao was, you assumed.

His controlling behavior will also reflect on how he treats your personal life. Yao is very selective of who he lets you be around with, so he’ll often look at your acquaintances and friends with a very critical eye, immediately expressing his distaste in them if they were even to do the smallest thing wrong. “Such a brute isn’t worth being around, (y/n).” Yao will warn you to stay away from them, but won’t bring it up any further if you decide to do what he says. If you don’t then...well, he had special friends to help him out with his dirtier work.

Yao might consider kidnapping you if this behavior keeps on repeating, but won’t feel compelled to actually do it unless something bad were to happen.

Ivan will always try his best to be there for you! While it most likely won’t quite work with him being a rather busy person; a country, nonetheless, but he’ll do his upmost best. It was extremely hard for Ivan to make friends that...weren’t scared of him or secretly disliked him, so having you was such a relief!

Being his only friend, he’ll make sure to be absolutely devoted to you— perhaps in a way that wasn’t too healthy in a friendship, and would often be looked down upon by those looking at your relationship from an outsider’s perspective. But could one truly blame him? Ever since he was born it felt like everyone around him were either toying with him, or were utterly terrified of the boy expect for his two sisters. It was lonely...so it isn’t hard to imagine how overjoyed he was once having you in his life; someone that didn’t display the usual fright whenever he approached them, nor did you look like you were out to hurt him.

Ivan appreciated you a lot.

It wasn’t hard to imagine that you’d most likely become the target of a few other countries, your connection with Ivan wasn’t extremely hidden from the outside world... (from how much he’d senselessly mutter things about you when daydreaming, and the many times he stuck by your side) and so, others would take it to their advantage. Those like Alfred will probably try convince you to leave Ivan’s side, spewing terrifying stories of the man to try and stir up something inside of you so you could leave him. It was mainly for your own safety, yes. But it was also to make the Russian weaker. It was obvious that he was depending on you heavily, and losing you would...god forbid if that would ever happen. Ivan would completely lose himself, perhaps even snapping completely.

So don’t hesitate to tell Ivan if someone was bothering you! Ivan will make sure to get rid of the little parasite from your life in an instant, giving them a short warning whenever the two come across each other...and making sure that he got his point across! It’s better to ignore their sudden disappearance after that day, since someone like them wasn’t worth lingering in your mind.

[ticklishtypings]

Smile For Me (MiriTama)

TRIGGER WARNING FOR: self doubt, anxiety/anxiety attacks, intrusive thoughts 

Disclaimer: This is a sfw tickle fanfic (I do not do nsfw for any fandom)

Summary: Tamaki Amajiki has always been an anxious soul. Once he met Mirio though, it began to change. He was still anxious, but learned how to manage it to ease some of it in his and Mirio’s favorite form of affection. 

Word Count: 1,138

Author Note: God I am so sorry this took me months to write and it isn’t even good quality...I have been struggling with so much lately. 

His chest was on fire, his throat felt like it was rapidly closing. Anxiety. He could never escape it, it was always around the corner to shit on his plans. He had been trying to talk to the class off 1-A but his little trick to calm his anxiety wasn’t working, they looked even worse as potatoes. He began to shake, words no longer forming. Mirio felt his buddy on the brink of an anxiety attack, so he put a hand on his shoulder to let him know he did well, but he could ‘run away’ if needed. It took no time to find a wall and face it, quivering in self pity. 

‘Worthless. How pathetic of you Tamaki. They’re all looking at you, judging you. What kind of hero can’t talk in front of a simple class? You don’t deserve to consider yourself a member of the Big Three’ 

His words caused him to quiver more, the classroom as well as the talking completely drowned out now. He was trapped by his own thoughts. No one could save him. Nothing ever would. Why can’t he just be his own hero and calm himself down? No. No no no no- 

“Amajiki? Dude? You okay? The presentation is over, we can leave now.” Mirio had a hand on his shoulder, his eyebrows furrowed together. 

“Let’s go home. I wanna go home. Can we go home?” His voice was shaking, he refused to look up as he followed Mirio and Nejire back to their dorms. He remained in his head the entire way there, criticizing himself, further bringing his self confidence. 

“You’re too rough on yourself Tamaki, you gotta lighten up and see the sunshine!” Nejire cheered, her eyes lighting up.

“Positivity, I don’t like it.” He groaned, he knows she was only trying her best to support him, and here he was again being negative. 

“How about we do something you do like? Hm, buddy?” Mirio suggested, watching a blush creep on his face. 

Amajiki wasn’t oblivious, he knew exactly what Mirio was talking about. It’s something they’ve done since childhood. While he was shy to affection, he never minded it from Nejire or Mirio, since they understood him. Since they were his friends. He was always too timid to ask as well, which is why they they came up with a method to help ease some of that. 

“That...that would be nice.” He spoke softly, playing with the tip of his tie. 

“Gentle today, buddy?” He asked kindly, unsure if he wanted to forget his anxiety or cope with it. 

“Gentle.” He was already squirmish. 

“Oh! Oh! I call his tummy! I get to tickle his tummy!” Nejire called out excitedly, waiving her hand at said spot. He groaned, she was always so blunt and forgot the effect it had on him. 

“Nejire, quiet, you might kill him by saying the words.” Mirio pointed to his blushy faced friend. 

“What!! He likes it!! Can I start now, Tamaki?” She asked politely, not wanting to start without his permission just in case he changed his mind. 

“Please..” He said shyly, starting to lay back. 

Gently they both picked their spots and began to gently skitter their fingers. Light giggles began to pour out of his mouth, trying not to squirm too much. 

“Mihihihehehe-” Giggling out Miro’s name, cautiously grasping his wrists. 

“Yeah, buddy?” He smiled, knowing he never would get a response. 

“Does this tickle Tamaki? Just like you wanted? All soft and tingly?” Nejire asked genuinely, but he couldn’t help but blush even more so at that. 

“Mahahahaybe! Ne-ehenew! Spot!” He was starting to crave more of the tickly feeling. 

“Where to?” He asked as they removed their hands. 

“Chef’s choice.” Oh, so he wanted to play that game, huh? 

“Well...I don’t know where you’re ticklish dear friend. Mind telling me?” The sweetest smile spread across Mirio’s face as he watched his anxiety ridden friend start to laugh with anticipation giggles. This had to be one of his favorite games. 

“No? But come on Tamaki! I wanna tickle you all over!! It’ll be so much fun! I promise to tickle you to tears, just the way you love with my nails!” She cheered, making wiggly claws towards him. 

He all but fainted at the sight of her nails. He really needed this, he needed to let go. “No. I’m not ticklish.” He said confidently, but hid under his hands. 

“What do you mean pumpkin pie? So this won’t tickle you? Not even a teeny tiny bit?” She gently dragged her nails across his collarbone. 

“Oh, would you look at that Mirio, I think that’s a smile. Maybe even a laugh? I wonder how long he’ll last.” She sped up how fast she was wiggling her nails, and never kept it in the same spot either. 

He had no clue where she was going next. She was at his neck scraping her nails against it, then a second later was pinching his hips but by the time his hands flew down to his hips to grab her wrists she was up at his ribs drilling them. She was so experienced from all the times she tickled Mirio. 

“I think you’ve teased him enough Nejire.” Mirio says sympathetically, signaling for her to go in for the kill. 

Without any further words spoken, she swiftly shoved her hands into the hero’s underarms, causing him to arch his back and squeal. It was his worst spot, and they knew it too. He was way too ticklish there, even applying deodorant tickled him.

“NEHEHEHJIREHEHEHE! OH MY GOHOHOHOD!” His arms clamped down on her wiggling fingers and he threw his head back with happy laughter, kicking his feet wildly. 

Mirio took it upon himself to gently brush the hair out of his face, allowing him to enjoy himself fully, content listening to the sweet sound coming from his best friend. 

The tickling went on for a good few more minutes before he grabbed her hands and removed them gently. “I cahahan’t....I cahahan’t. No mohohre- please.” He giggled out breathlessly. 

“Well, Tamaki!! Did it work? Are you feeling better now that you got all your tickly tickles?” She asked excitedly as he groaned in embarassment.

“Nejire, he loved it, he always does. But he’s always really shy after rememeber? Gotta be gentle. Right, buddy? Which aftercare do you want this time? Cuddles or nap?” Mirio offered him a water bottle, which he took gratefully and chugged it. 

“Both?” He asked sheepishly, laying back on the ground. 

“Both!!!” Mirio and Nejire exclaimed at the same time. 

Days like this were Amajiki’s favorite, they were relaxing moments with his best friends. He would never forget days like these, no matter what, he always had his best friends...while they might not be pro-hero’s yet...to Tamaki they already were. 

[neerons]

Some of Takaomi Tsugaru’s best quotes

“Wipe the drool. I’m not THAT handsome, am I?”

“That’s all you have to say about mon visage?”

“True, going on a date with a pretty girl isn’t so bad. But it’s definitely more fun hanging out with you.”

“Your butt cheeks are two different sizes, too.”

“A little pet of Hideki’s and Hyogo’s? This I gotta see. Graduated with honors, eh? Singled out already, huh? Sounds like a gorilla girl. I picture a hearty, muscled lass with arms like hams. But what eventually materializes before me is a cute little hoppy white hare.” (—Tsugaru’s thoughts)

“Throwing her hard-written report into the trash basket has me in a great mood. Lalala...” (—Tsugaru’s thoughts)

“Drag her? She may be fierce, but she’s only bunny-sized. If she gets grabbed by three guys at once...” (—Tsugaru’s thoughts)

“She seemed so feminine. Having fun, and drinking more than she intended. (...) She flops back over, karate-chopping me in the face. How’d she manage to land a critical hit while sleeping?! Why did she decide to go into Public Safety? An innocent, carefree girl like this?” (—Tsugaru’s thoughts)

“This might be the first time I’ve really gotten a good look at her face. It isn’t too bad. She has a cute little nose, and her mouth moves like a little animal when it’s flapping. She’s even kind of charming. I scrutinize her face, drinking in the details.” (—Tsugaru’s thoughts)

“Probably because she’s a country bumpkin... No, no. She’s a daisy fresh girl raised on farm-fresh air.” (—Tsugaru’s thoughts)

“You four-eyed jerk...” (—Tsugaru to Ishigami)

“Don’t take my Little Hare... I want her all to myself.” (—Tsugaru’s thoughts)

“She and Goto could be doing it like bunnies for all I should care.” (—Tsugaru’s thoughts)

“I should drop Momo’s toenail clippings in that coffee of yours...” (—Tsugaru’s thoughts about MC)

“Don’t look so innocent while you’re sitting on a man’s thighs. I can feel her body heat... This proximity...” (—Tsugaru’s thoughts)

“I figured out from that little incident that dressing up isn’t your forte. Besides, it’s hard to compete with my beauty.”

“It’s a curse being this handsome.” (—Tsugaru talking about himself to Kurosawa)

“I hope you’re looking forward to it too, Little Hare... Our D.A.T.E!” (—Tsugaru speaking loudly to make the other guys jealous)

“I really wanted you to see it. How the old Namba gang would react. As the day of our date approached, Little Hare, they couldn’t stand it. Hideki’s frown line just kept getting deeper and deeper. And Hyogo was drinking so much coffee, he was practically vibrating.”

“Yes, we’re like Beauty and the Beast, aren’t we? Come along, Beast.”

“Are you jealous of our bro-date, Little Hare? (—Tsugaru talking about when he was hanging out with Kaga in the past to MC)

“Don’t compare your face and mine. It’s an insult.”

“You unfaithful hussy.”

“Little Hare takes priority.”

“You’re quite big, Little Hare. (...) Maybe I was talking about your chest.”

“No shoulder rides for you, little man.” (—Tsugaru to Noa after he was called “weird” by him)

“You’re right. You’re more of a snot-dribbler than a tear-spiller.”

“How can you say a handsome face like mine is ever “in the way”...?”

“Trying to make me hate you? ...Silly. Thank you for not changing. Please... always stay the way you are.”

“Hmm? You want a non-antidote kiss this time? Ahaha. You’re bright red. Like a tomato. Let’s see if I can make you... a squashed tomato.”

“We should at least go on a date before we get married. Let’s go on a date.”

“When I was a kid, I was always imagining things, never knowing that part of me would be killed off. But right now, I indulge in a little fantasy of Little Hare’s twitchy bunny face.” (—Tsugaru’s thoughts)

“Excuse me?! I fight a sudden urge to take a flying kick at Seiji’s back.” (—Tsugaru being jealous of Goto in his thoughts)

“I’d decided not to use my past to make excuses. But the complex I’ve been hiding... It’s in every part of me.” (—Tsugaru’s thoughts)

“Was she asking because she wants to be my girlfriend? I’d like to tell you... that you deserve that position, too. (...) Girlfriend, huh. When she asked me why I can’t get one... my heart skipped a beat. The only girl I can think of that could fit the bill is her.” (—Tsugaru’s thoughts)

“She’s taken tons of snaps of Squad Katsuragi, all glistening with sweat. You dirty paparazzo, Little Hare. What are you thinking, letting strange men into your apartment? Strange men who aren’t ME! I delete all the photos before taking a few selfies, then handing her phone back. (...) I set the lock and background screens as me too.” (—Tsugaru talking and thinking about MC)

“Can I say goodnight to the baby in your belly? Goodnight. I can’t wait to meet you.” (—Tsugaru talking to his mom and unborn sibling, as a child)

“I started having dumb, hopeful thoughts of being her someone special.” (—Tsugaru’s thoughts)

“A murderer’s blood runs in my veins. This was the one thing I didn’t want her to know about me. I didn’t want you to know... Not you. Not my normal, innocent Little Hare.” (—Tsugaru’s thoughts)

“I want to be a man you can feel confident sticking by. I don’t want you to stay around because you’re worried. You’re my first real personal relationship, I guess.” (—Tsugaru’s thoughts)

“I’ll save her, over and over. I’d do anything to rescue the woman I love.” (—Tsugaru’s thoughts)

“She purses her lips. Gah, so cute. (...) Then she smirks at me, seeming very satisfied. She looks so, so happy. Cute as heck! I want to grab her and take her someplace private...” (—Tsugaru’s thoughts)

“I’ll draw Momo frying Little Hare alive with his Momo Beam.” (Tsugaru’s thoughts)

“(...) Once there was a boy called Momotaro... He was friends with a little hare, and a mean dog called Hyogo and a cyborg called Hideki. They traveled to the land of demons to fell the demon lord Seiji...” (—Tsugaru making up a story for Noa)

“She’s so good at being honest and earnest with people. Knowing she might hurt them, but not backing down, for the sake of what’s right. And she knows how to soothe those hurts, too.” (—Tsugaru’s thoughts)

“I knew it was only ever going to be a dream. Such a pure, uncomplicated girl could never fall for someone... like me.” (—Tsugaru’s thoughts)

“I’ll have to start calling you Little Piggy instead of Little Hare.”

“So she and Seiji had a little kitty friend at the academy? I’ll have to crush their relationship.” (—Tsugaru’s thoughts)

“Be happier about being chained to a hot guy.”

“My dream’s to go to Momo’s wedding. Be happy, my friend.” (—His VIP room)

“Imagine Hyogo of all people having a soft spot for someone. What a shock.” (—His VIP room)

“Dreamed I was being attacked by Kaga Kong and Ishizilla. I must be tired.” (—His VIP room)

“I happen to love my talented little subordinate, after all.” (—Tsugaru talking about MC, in Shinonome’s route)

“She’s surrounded by men. Is that businessman staring at her? If he gropes her, I’ll bring social justice down upon him.” (—Tsugaru’s thoughts about a random man & MC)

“Stay away, ace! (...) She’s done with you all. She has a new man now.” (—Tsugaru talking about MC to Goto and the others)

“I bet you spent two hours getting ready for this. You look cute though.”

“Well I noticed you like eating.”

“What about Tsugaru variety? (...) I’d like to be bitten by you. Will you eat me up?” (—Tsugaru talking about an apple version of him to MC)

“Just for today, I wanted you to only think about me.”

“Doctor Doolittle?! Oh no, that’s a vet. ...Whatever! A doctor, eh... A detective is cooler than a doctor any day. Anyway, doctors don’t play fair. They act like group dates are their killing grounds.” (—Tsugaru’s thoughts about Hajime)

“Give you a call? Sure she will, buddy. (...) There’s silence when the guy departs. Say something. Tell me you like me way better!” (—Tsugaru’s thought about Hajime and MC)

“I wonder what she was like as a university student? He dated her back then... They would have held hands, kissed, and also... Whispered sweet nothings in bed. Aaargh! Why... Why can’t you be mine alone...” (—Tsugaru’s thoughts about Hajime and MC)

“I love you.”

“You could never forget the face of a good-looker like me after seeing it once, right?” (—His VIP room)

“I’m the type that makes sure he leaves his mark on the girl that means most to him.” (—His VIP room)

“I can see how chic you are - or trying to be at least. You dolled yourself up for me, right?” (—His VIP room)

“You could be honest and compliment me. Tell me how I’ve got a handsome face, but everything else about me is perfect.” (—His VIP room)

“Little Hare, you’re the only one for me.” (—His VIP room)

“Did you get a good shot? Send me the best one. That’s right, I was thinking Momo would like it.” (—His VIP room)

“Hyogo plus water is a crazy combo, isn’t it? Kinda like a demon lord that’s just emerged from out of the sea.” (—His VIP room)

“Hmph. Wait… Don’t you want to take a picture? You can make me your wallpaper, you know.” (—His VIP room)

“My clothes are supposed to be see-through and are supposed to cling to me. Sorry I’m too sexy.” (—His VIP room)

“Even when I’m wet my high quality remains… Wow.” (—His VIP room)

[damnusillygoose]

Jerza fanfiction

disclaimer: these characters belong to hiro sensei

title: Somebody is jealous

summary: will erza be able to maintain her calm when her beau starts getting a lot of female attention?

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13786166/1/somebody-is-jealous

Erza was a jealous woman.

She wasn't insecure in her relationship with Jellal by any means, not that she had to vie for his attention. He gave it to her willingly. He made her feel loved, so much that she was practically brimming with it. He showed her his affection not only through words but also through his actions.

But that didn't mean she couldn't get jealous.

Jellal's popularity proliferated after he settled in magnolia and started indulging himself with voluntary service. Crime sorciere might be officially disbanded but the former members having spent ample amount of time with each other wanted to continue working together and take missions. They also diverted their funds to start an orphanage for abandoned children.

Their pious efforts were recognized and soon they started receiving all sorts of grants from public and from private companies in the form of corporate social responsibility. As the grand master of crime sorciere, Jellal was often called upon by organizations for collaborations and for interviews to further elaborate upon the work done by his guild.

Erza couldn't be happier for him but the limelight he received also turned out to be slightly infernal for her. Jellal became instantly well-known and even topped the charts of 'The Most Handsome Man Alive', dethroning Hibiki Lates who took pride upon himself for holding this position for 3 years plus.

She lost the counts of love letters that Jellal started receiving from his female following. Whenever they would go out to spend time with each other, there would always be eyes hawking him or pestering him for autographs. Erza really wanted to maintain her demeanor as a good girlfriend who doesn't get jealous when her partner gets excessive attention from the opposite gender but there had to be a limit right?

However, Erza was grateful for a fact that there was never a reciprocation from his end. Jellal never returned their efforts. He never bothered.

He was staunch in his belief and was firmly loyal to her.

The realization made her feel extremely loved.

'Stop brooding Erza, you look hideous.' Mirajane snapped Erza out of her murderous intent as she reached across the table enamored with mahogany wood to collect empty glasses.

'Mira! that reporter bitch is all over him again! Can I murder her?! '

'Calm down Erza. She is here for her job after all.'

'Her job is to interview and ask him substantial questions! Not throw herself all over him! He is clearly uncomfortable with her vexing advances. Is she blind or what?!' she roared as her fist slammed against the table top nearly knocking off the glasses in the tray.

Her abrupt yet fierce declaration was enough to scare Natsu and Gray who were once again at each other's throats. She was seething with anger and gritted her teeth with helplessness. She wanted to jump in and slap the day lights out of that abhorrent creature but she wouldn't dare disturb Jellal's interview. Fairy tail has a reputation to maintain anyways. Not that they had a respectable reputation to begin with but she wouldn't embarrass her guild any further.

Erza witnessed as that female reporter proceeded to smirk smugly at her paramour and leaned forward on the pretext of not being able to hear his answer owing to uproarious energy of the guild.

Jellal leaned back as his company continued to disrespect his personal space relentlessly.

'Mr. Fernandez, I think it's equally disturbing to interview you here. How about we move to my private chamber? No one would interrupt us there and we can take all the time we want', the female reporter purred and twisted her lips in a vicious smirk, touching the top of his hand.

'No, thank you. I can't afford that. My girlfriend is waiting for me. Let's wrap this up quickly', Jellal repudiated, pulling his hand aside, rejecting her advances in a disapproving grunt.

That's it! Erza stood up from her seat as she saw that wretched bitch lean towards him, churning with incorrigible wrath. Her emotional turmoil had successfully won over her and she was ready to slice that bitch into pieces. But before she could do anything, she saw her beau lightly bow his head towards his female companion displaying the dismissal of their conversation.

She inhaled a breath of relief as he walked towards her and took a seat beside her. His eyes looked genuinely tired and he rubbed his temples in exasperation.

Her anger melted into concern.

'Are you okay, Jellal? Was she pestering you a lot?' she asked empathetically.

'Yes, I am fine. I am glad it's over', he took her hand in his and entwined them firmly.

He gave her a worn-out smile as he requested Mira to bring him a drink.

'that bitch.' Erza cursed as she weaved her free arm to loop around his bicep. She rested her head against his shoulder and let out a sigh.

'I am fine, Erza. Seriously, Let's eat something and then we can head back home'

'I know you are saying this to put me at ease but we aren't heading back home Jellal. That bitch's presence will not ruin the party for us. We will enjoy till the very end'

Just when they thought the trouble was over, that female reporter strode unapologetically into their love nest.

'I am sorry to barge into your conversation but is it okay if I sit here? I am not familiar with anyone here and I only know Mr. Fernandez so...?'

Jellal clicked his tongue in annoyance and looked at Erza to check her reaction only to find her extremely calm and collected. However, He knew that her exterior appearance was a façade. She was probably singeing internally hotter than any inferno.

'sure', Erza replied in her imperturbable composure, her wrath at the brim of her limit, ready to walk over the barbwire at any moment.

Lucy and Cana marveled at the guts of this prying female as they witnessed this scene from the next table.

'So, how long you two been together?'

'I didn't know there was another interview?', Erza eyed her as she retorted sharply.

'nah, I am just curious about you two. You are a well-known couple in magnolia after all. Everyone looks up to you guys for couple goals.'

'About six months', Erza replied unsure whether this person was genuinely intrigued or mocking them half-heartedly.

'Ah. From what I have heard this is the first ever relationship for both of you, right? Six months isn't even a long time to know your partner intimately. People break up over minute scuffles all the time. Anyways, Mr. Fernandes, a handsome man like yourself must find himself flocked with female attention all the time, no? I don't think you should settle yourself in a relationship this early- '

This fucking bitch is going to breath her last breathe today! there is no way I am letting her out alive! Erza bellowed internally. How dare she insult her relationship like this?! This jerk continued to spew bullshit even when she was kind enough to overlook her advances towards Jellal earlier! How dare she-

'Ms. Erina, we don't recall asking for your unsolicited advice on our relationship. This is our private matter and we do not appreciate third party interferences. Your job was to interview me on professional basis and I can very well report back to your organization regarding your unethical behaviour. This can cost you your career and you know that', Jellal shot her down with his sharp retort. He took hold of Erza's hand in his, underneath the table, in a reassuring manner.

'but I was just kidding around- '

'We don't appreciate this degraded sense of humor. It was disrespectful and you were clearly trying to jeopardize my relationship', Jellal, when triggered, had no mercy for people who undermined his relationship with Erza.

'You've crossed the limits of my personal space and I ask you to leave'

His refute left Erina stunned. She had successfully seduced countless men in their so-called committed relationships but Jellal Fernandez was one such man she was unable to surmount no matter how many cheap tricks she pulled. Admitting her inevitable defeat, she stood up in shame, trembling with anger for he insulted her blatantly, dragged her feet across the guild hall, colliding with Kinana on her way, almost knocking off the drinks in her tray ,had Erik not intervened preventing her fall. He let out a muffled snare at the vile woman who passed by him. .

Jellal finally let out an audible sigh and looked at Erza.

'sorry, my love. You had to witness this', Jellal whispered anxiously. He moved his hand to fondle her inner thigh intimately in way he knew would calm her trembling down.

Erza had a wide smile that adorned her lips. She wasn't angry now. In fact, she was extremely satisfied the way Jellal shot her down. The respect and adoration he held for her was oozing out of every word he spoke. She loved him so much. Her ears felt warm as she snuggled into his shoulder.

'thank you Jellal. I am fine. I am not bothered by her ignorant remarks. She has no clue about what we both went through to stand where we are today and frankly I don't care', Erza stated, referring to their past history.

'if it doesn't bother you, it doesn't bother me as well', Jellal smiled as he leaned down to capture her lips in a passionate kiss and then traced his soft lips against her jawline, giving her a peck on her cheeks.

Laxus looked at his buddy from the second floor, impressed, for he handled the situation very maturely.

'sheesh, that's a slick move Fernandes'

A/N: Thank you for reading. Please review if you liked it. Constructive criticism is appreciated.

[thatesqcrush]

First Time Hijinks

Harvard! Rafael Barba x Reader. Using two prompts from here: # 6. “I wasn’t expecting it to be… THAT big.” and #28: Babe, I’m never gonna finish this work if you keep doing that.” as requested by @garturbo - companion piece to Study Buddies, found here.

AN: To avoid any squick, I am placing Rafael/reader in their early 20s.

CW: language, making out/suggested language. 

Word count: 1827

Tags: @madpanda75 @ottosuricato @delia26 @dreila03 @sass-and-suspenders @glimmerglittergirl @melsquared79 @mommakat32 @garturbo @southern-magnolia @niyashell @tropes-and-tales - anyone else just ask.

“So, is today the day?” your roommate Sheila asked you, as she grabbed her books. As she shoved the books in her bookbag, she looked over at you. You looked at her quizzically.  “You know! You and Rafael...” she clicked her tongue while giving you a playful nudge. “I don’t know. I hope so. We’ve been taking things slow,” you replied, as you shrugged on your Harvard sweatshirt. “I am about to combust if I had to be completely truthful. He’s so...! One look with those green eyes and I want to melt.” “Make the move! He’d be nuts to turn you down,” Sheila replied, grabbing a water bottle. “You know my folks are coming into town tonight and I am going home for the weekend. So you’ll have the whole room to yourself.” You nodded as you pulled your hair into a ponytail. “Okay; we’ll see.” *** Your heart thumped loudly in your chest as you approached your boyfriend who was sitting against a tree in the main quad. His nose was deep in Legal Ethics, a highlighter hanging off his mouth. “Hey there stranger,” you greeted. Rafael looked up at you and his green eyes lit up at the sight of you. He dropped his book, and put the cap on his highlighter so he could stand. He tossed the highlighter to the grass. “Hey,” Rafael acknowledged. He pulled you in for a chaste kiss on the lips. You looked up at him, and smoothed his hair which was tussled, likely due to him running his hands through his hair when he was stressed, which for him, was often. Your hand grazed his cheek and you ran your thumb against it, stroking it softly. Rafael closed his eyes and turned his face into your palm, pressing a kiss into it. Smiling, you pulled away so that you could walk past Rafael and sit on the blanket he had been sitting on. “How goes the studying?” You asked as you opened your own books. Rafael sighed, frustrated. “It’s going.” He sat next to you and the two of you began to do your work. “We look like an old married couple,” you murmured as you reached for your glasses in your bag and slipped them on. Rafael pressed a kiss to the top of your head, chuckling. An hour later, your eyes were beginning to glaze over from reading and re-reading your notes for your upcoming quiz. Rafael was still in deep thought, and you watched him cross reference his notes with the textbook. Looking around to make sure no eyes were on you, you cuddled closer to Rafael and raised the bottom half of the blanket so that it covered you. “Cold?” Rafael asked, still engrossed in his work. “Something like that,” you purred, remembering your roommate’s advice. You slipped your hand to the front of Rafael’s jeans, and rubbed. Rafael shifted and looked at you, his eyebrow raised. You could feel him harden your palm, so you continued your ministrations. “Babe, I’m never gonna finish this work if you keep doing that,” Rafael coughed, shifting once more. “Well, why don’t we go back to my dorm, and we can finish there? Sheila’s gone for the weekend.” You moved your hand and Rafael bit the inside of his cheek at the loss of contact. Rafael let out a deep breath. He looked at you intently, “Are you sure?” You nodded. “Never more sure.” Rafael pressed a kiss to your lips. “Then tonight. I really need to finish this though.” Seeing your crestfallen face, he added for good measure, “I want our first time to be special; not rushed. Plus you have a quiz to take in 10 minutes. You pressed another kiss to his lips and then gazed at your watch. “Shit, you’re right. I have to get to class. I’ll see you tonight. Wish me luck.” You both said your goodbyes. Rafael watched you take off. He had a nervous knot in his belly. The last person he had been with was Yelina right after graduation. Alex’s family had thrown a graduation party for Los Tres Mosqueteros de Jerome Avenue. They all got drunk on peppermint Schnapps and Coronas. Yelina led Rafael to the bathroom and against the sink, among the shampoo bottles and mouthwash is how he lost his virginity. On and off, the summer leading to college, they continued but once Rafael left for Harvard, Yelina had no further interest in pursuing anything. All Yelina had done was criticize him. The one saving grace, in his own personal opinion, was that he happened to be well endowed. And now, Y/N, his wonderful girlfriend wanted to take their relationship to the next level. Rafael ran his hands through his hair, stressed. He was your stereotypical broke college student without two pots to piss in, at Harvard on a full ride. “How on Earth,” he wondered, “...am I going to make it special?” Sighing, he found he couldn’t concentrate any further. Initially he decided to head back down to his room, but then he decided to take a detour to off campus. He was going to make tonight special, regardless of whatever Yelina thought of him. *** You sighed, as you swiped your key card to your dorm. Your final year meant tons of seminars, each class longer than last. You had gone to Rafael’s room but your knocks went answered. You assumed that your boyfriend was busy at the library. You were tempted to find him and distract him, but you didn’t dare. You knew for Rafael, his studies were important. So imagine your surprise when you walked in to your room and found your boyfriend sitting in the common room, with flowers in hand. “Rafi? What’s going on?” you questioned. “I - I hope you don’t mind. You said I could use your key code anytime,” Rafael replied. You look at the room, there was at least two other bouquets set up. And candles. Lots of them. “Of course not. Wait, what’s going on? I thought you’d be at the library,” you continued shutting the door behind you. You dropped your shoulder bag to the floor and placed your ID on the top of the mini fridge. “Earlier, I thought you wanted to... so I...” Rafael sputtered, his cheeks flushing. You smiled brightly. “That’s right.” You approached Rafael, placing your hands on his chest. “I did. And I do.” You sealed the distance between your bodies and pressed a kiss to him. The kiss was hesitant at first, but grew with intensity. Rafael reached down to grab your butt, squeezing tightly. You groaned and pressed into Rafael. As Rafael began to kiss down your neck, you realized something smelled awful. You pushed Rafael away. “Do you smell something?” Rafael crinkled his nose, and covered his face with the sleeve of his shirt. “I do...” He searched the room with eyes, until he noticed the source of the offending smell. “The candle!” he shouted. One of the candles was just a little too close to wall hanging, which started to catch on fire. Before either of you could react, the alarm signaled and the overhead sprinkler system went off. You both yelped as water came down from overhead. Rafael climbed onto your desk and reached up to turn off the knob. By the time it was off, the door had swung open and you found yourself staring face to face with your RA and a public safety officer - they were both less than pleased. *** You and Rafael were both written up and you were on the hook to pay for any damages incurred. Luckily there were nothing major, just a damp carpet and some wet textbooks that would eventually air and dry out. Rafael sat on your now damp bed, his head in his hands. “I just wanted to make tonight special for us.” You sat next to him, placing your head on his shoulder. “Oh Rafi, I know. But, it will be special because it’s us.” You looked up and gave him a sympathetic smile. Rafael looked down at you and smiled. “You’re absolutely right.” “Of course I am,” you teased. “Obviously,” you added for good measure, rolling your eyes. You stood up and grabbed clothes from your drawer. “Let me change and lets get out of here.” Rafael nodded and watched as you stripped off your soaked clothes. He swallowed hard as he took in your semi-nude form. You caught him staring in the mirror that hung off your door and you smirked. “See something you like?” you turned, slipping on your jeans, slightly bouncing as you did so, as you shimmied them on. You thought it was absolutely endearing how Rafael’s ears turned pink. “Yes,” Rafael quipped in return. “Very much so.” “Then lets get out of here.” You pulled Rafael up and the two of you headed to his room. *** You groaned as Rafael sucked on the hollow of your neck. Rafael gently leaned you back so you were laying on his bed. He pulled back up, his arms outstretched on your sides. Rafael looked down upon you, your hair had fanned around you, creating an almost halo like effect. Your lips were parted, slightly swollen from your make out session. Rafael’s gaze moved further south towards your rib cage, which expanded and deflated with each breath. You breasts were encased in a soft pink bra and Rafael was eager to see the flesh the encased. His erection strained painfully against his jeans. He went to kiss you once more, but Yelina’s words rang in his ear. You noticed Rafael’s hesitation and could see something was worrying him. You pushed yourself so you were sitting up, leaning on your elbows. “Rafi, what is going on? Are you okay?” Rafael sighed, before proceeding to spill everything about Yelina. You sat fully up and drew your knees to your chest, listening to Rafael intently. By the time Rafael finished pouring his heart, he felt deflated - both physically and emotionally. Your eyes narrowed. “Whoever this Yelina chick is, she can go fuck right off,” you replied sternly. “She should be so lucky that I haven’t met her. She is missing out on someone so wonderful! Better for me,” you finished with a chuckle. But then, you softened, and reached for Rafael’s hand. “Rafael, I am not that experienced either. We will figure out a rhythm, so to speak.” Rafael gave your hand a squeeze. “Are you sure you want to do this? No pressure, I promise.” He searched your eyes for any hesitation. You pushed Rafael back, and climbed over him. Reaching behind, you unhooked your bra and flung it to the floor. “What do you think?” *** You stroked Rafael’s chest hair, as you laid on his chest, listening to his thumping heart. Both of you were sweaty and out of breath, from your intimate actions. “That was... wow,” Rafael managed to get out between breaths. You nodded. “Yes. Yes it was. But, can I just say, I wasn’t expecting it to be… THAT big.” Rafael moved so he was sitting up, propped on his side. “Are you complaining?” His hand ghosted over your abdomen and you could feel your skin prickle. You smiled and wrapped your arm around Rafael’s neck, simultaneously pulling him down while you leaned up to kiss him.

FIN

[ton-e]

Small idea for later: In the KBG, once agents are born, they're assigned numbers at birth, not names; They're inked into your skin as soon as the first breath puffs, the first beat of heart, little shapes of black trailing down the skin of your spine, each needle jab burning harder than the previous. It's a brand that will never move unless you do.

They're not people, they're products; And that poison spills into their ears and minds early. They're unmade young. They have no family to lean on, friends to be the back of their necks, no soft lips or arms to come home to, but they have a system with a ladder. A ladder shaking with unbalance, In justice, and traps, but a ladder you can climb towards something better than the low misery you've been thrown into.

The numbers are erased once the agent's first mission is completed successfully . That's when you can pick a name of your liking, title yourself in ways no one cares to. That is, if you actually roll with the punches and land on your feet. Amid the foundation of sharp cruelty the KBG was build upon, among the bones and forgotten names sinking in dust, the pillar of ruthless expectations are truly what keeps it indestructible.

The first mission is a crucial milestone, the ray of bright hope shining behind rotten acres. You have your shot of becoming more than a code in an archive, more than a bullet in a barrel, a pair of skilled fingers triggering a gun, or a pair clever eyes and ears for Intel. But if you miss it, even by a melemiter, you won't be seen or remembered as anything less than the brand on your back. Humanity is a privilege, not a right. In here, you fall once, you fall for a lifetime.

The numbers are mostly meaningless; If lady fate has enough pity, it sprinkles some irony on them.

Ivan's back hosts 1878. Katya snorts when she first sees them, a small noise concealed in the tightness of her throat as her fingers trace each line and curve, pleased when the man is devoid of the constant vigilance filling his shoulders. He doesn't recoil from touch, not hers, never hers. "The guy that inked you was either a funny asshole, or a psychic asshole. Why Stalin's birth specifically?"

He shrugs. "I killed him before I could ask."

Masters , primarily, pretends the numbers aren't there; Not to chase some peace of mind, he accepted long ago that he was the unlukcy cat running for mouse scraps in that regard, or to deny the creature he was modeled to be. Damnation is his by right. It's not hiding, but a private terror he selfisly doesnt look to awaken.

If he sees it, it's real, one of the few memories he's allowed to keep. He was build to carry wars, harsh lessons, heavy loss and burning tragedy, but the numbers on his back claw deep at his soul from within. He's too scared they'll steal what he has left of it.

Javi sees them first, when Masters offers one of his shirts as makeshifts bandages for the critical wounds claiming the upper part of his body after the defeat in Los Angeles. He's no less human, even with fire in his soul. For reasons he isn't ready to explain, he feels safe enough to leave his back uncovered.

He doesnt have to question Javi's gaze to know it's a kind one; But by the slight pause in his tone, he can feel the pity, too. "... 1313. Do they have any meaning?"

"... No. They're just... very unlucky, I suppose."

Maxim knows the eyes of the one responsible for making his back a canvas. He knows who pierced 5976 sadistically deep, with intention to scar, break, hurt. Not as fierce as the sting he felt upon discovering they're empty , however.

He remembers them. Somehow, he does.

He remembers every face.

It was curled into a slight smirk, once upon a time, a look of a giant standing tall and mighty above an insect he was about to crush beneath his brutish boot, lips curved in a mocking enjoyment. Nothing like the tear showered mess washing down the blood spilling from the holes in his skull.

" I guess strenght means nothing if it's just a mask, huh?" The man doesn't have the coherency to respond, too preoccupied at digging after the orbits he no longer has, squirming on the dusty floor. Max waits for him to finish, puffing the last part of his cigarette and blows out the smoke in tandem with the man's last pant.

A gurgle potluck of Russian spills, dialect mangled in his panic, letters chopped off at the tips of his tongue. Max snaps his fingers twice to alert him he was to speak, and he halts his hysterics that did little to move the man above him. " Listen, buddy, - Are you listening? I stabbed your eyes, not yours ears, so you should be able to.

I'm feeling nice tonight, so allow me to give you a way out: I've got 9 bullets in my gun right now, and I'm not wasting them on you. I've got bigger beasts to catch. No offense. But here's a deal: I've got a nice little present from you on my back, one that id like to get rid of now. It brings me some terrible memories, you see. You gave me some terrible memories. Now I'm giving you the opportunity to take them back.

So get up. Grab that razor from the table, and make them go away. Then you're free to go! Its that easy, old friend " He pushes cheer into his voice at the end of his flat speech, yanking the man on his feet. He pushes the handle of the barbertool into his trembling hand, and sits on a stool. "Ready when you are. Don't worry about me. As usual as this line is for you, no doubt, this isn't my first time."

'I was born with pain build in,' he thinks bitterly. ' you made sure of that.'

The crosses slicing the spaces of his spine feel thin; Clumsy and shaky, paralling the once upon a time strong cut that dug into his young flesh with expert, clinical confidence. Each slash of skin feels like a chain being snapped off, and he can breathe instead of inhale.

It's his first breath. The man running was about to draw his last.

He watches him go serenely. Whistles a cheery tune with each cock his gun, counting all 10 bullets sitting anxious and awaiting to claim a life.

"I guess I could spare one more." He aims, he shots, he rises.

The man goes down.

Max crosses another name from his list.

[unfortunatelysirius]

WHEN YOUR HEART STOPS BEATING // DARYL DIXON X READER

「 ❁ 」PROMPT 「 ❁ 」

After walkers infiltrate the prison, you are boxed in and lost. It’s up to Daryl Dixon to find you.

「 ❁ 」WARNINGS 「 ❁ 」

Fluff, violence, gore, angst, panic attack, and swearing

「 ❁ 」WORD COUNT 「 ❁ 」

3560

 YOUR NEW HOME WAS MORE THAN it seemed.

For one, it didn’t just house the decaying, shambling corpses of former guards and the hostiles they were payed to watch; there was a group of flesh-and-blood prisoners, wearing their jumpsuits from the end of the world, who popped up, seemingly from nowhere, after Rick was forced to amputate the leg off your group’s eldest member. And for two, walkers materialized at every turn, whether you were alone or not. There were many things about the compound that screamed unease to you.

Why were there civilian corpses? And why was it the prison stayed quiet, yet grew to a crescendo of snarling anytime the tunnels became occupied?

You could admit it—you were never tasked to be the critical thinker, the one who took surface level and dug inside to find the under-level layers. But you were the strategic one; if the group needed a quick thinker, someone who could make plans swiftly and efficiently, they turned to you. Escape artistry was one of your talents at the end of the world, trickling over from your former life as a patient at a psychiatric hospital. You liked to run and hide.

That didn’t change with the abrupt appearance of an apocalypse.

Even now, behind closed doors—safely enclosed in walls—you couldn’t help the sneaking suspicion it wouldn’t last. When the prisoners had shuffled into Cell Block C, you’d looked them up and down. Big Tiny, Oscar, and Axel seemed okay, probably jailed for misdemeanors and drugs, but Tomas… and Andrew… Andrew could be helped—he was obviously more a follower than someone to take initiative—but Tomas? The controlling gleam in that man’s eyes reminded you of someone knew from before the outbreak—someone you could never stop running from, even in your dreams.

“I don’t think he should be let around anybody,” you’d told Rick, after you’d gotten far enough way that the prisoners wouldn’t overhear. The uneasy clenching in your gut wouldn’t subside, no matter the internal whispers of Rick and Daryl will keep us safe and We’re okay and Everything’s going to be alright. “I think he was in here for murder.”

Rick patted your shoulder, gave you that paternal look he saved for when he was a moment away from patronizing someone, and said, “I’ll keep an eye on him.”

You knew what that really meant. But Rick made the rules. Even if you wanted to, arguing would get you nowhere.

A part of you thought it was funny, how scared you were. How cowardly. It’s the former patient in you. The paranoia. You’re scared everywhere you go. It was nothing short of the truth, though you’d like to pretend you were better now. Once upon a time, everything was a monster. Everything was out to get you. And now, at the end of the world, your worst nightmare became a reality: a town of demons, with nowhere to go, and no hero to save the day. No safety belts. All dust, no oasis.

You supposed it was relieving, in a way. You weren’t being paranoid now; you were taking precautions, being precautious, to keep not just yourself safe but an entire group of people. There was a pregnant woman in the group—a preteen, a teenager. An aging man still recovering from the bite. Very few in the group actually held necessary skillsets to protect the rest.

Though you could handle a gun, your only real asset was your speed. And even then, a person could only run so far before the monsters were there to catch their fall.

When Big Tiny was scratched, you watched your demons come to life. Between bickers of I’m sorry and It’s the end of the road for ya, buddy, Tomas had stormed past and sunk the killer end of his hammer into Big Tiny’s head. He threw and threw, sickening crunches heard throughout the sick, homicidal procedure, until Big Tiny’s face was nothing but mush and brain bits. Tomas turned, and your eyes met. With a face covered in blood, his hazel-brown eyes gleamed with madness.

Daryl had pulled at your arm, then, tugging until you were behind him. “Stay behind me. Don’t go near him,” he’d muttered to you. To Rick, he said, “You see the look on his face?”

Rick didn’t even look at Daryl. He instead was looking right at you. “I think you were right, Y/N,” he said, just as quiet; “He’s dangerous.”

You wished you were wrong. You wished for these worries to be nothing but irrational, proven as subsets of your paranoia; instead, you had to watch Tomas attempt Rick’s murder, thrice occasions. First, he disregarded a direct order—instead of opening one door, he opened two. Second, he stabbed at an imaginary opponent, missing Rick by very little. Third, he took a walker, and tossed it to Rick’s body. A second longer, and no Daryl Dixon to come to his aid, and he would have been dead.

Silence followed.

Shit happens. Shit happens. Shit happens.

He was comin’ at me, bro!

Bang, bang. A slash from Rick’s machete, and Tomas was dead.

You remembered a past conversation, as you watched Tomas’s eyes go dull with lifelessness. One from before. “You’re gonna have to get used to the scary, Y/N. Or the scary’s gonna eat you alive.” You’d shaken your head, in denial. You didn’t want to get used to the scary. “You’ll be saying that, sweetheart. You’ll be saying that when you drown.”

Everything went in slow motion, after that. Andrew was horrified—rightfully so; after all, he’d just witnessed his leader’s death—and had attacked your leader with a bat. Rick reacted fast, kicking at him, while Daryl raised his crossbow. Andrew ran out of the room, and Rick followed; Oscar and Axel were down on their knees, already surrendering.

Daryl had his crossbow leveled between them. T-Dog had his gun raised. You were merely standing there, still trying to process what just happened.

Maybe if you blinked, the scenery would change. The prisoners wouldn’t exist, and you wouldn’t see a dead body (of someone who had looked at you, spoken to you) slumped against the ground. Daryl and T-Dog wouldn’t be pointing weapons at strangers. If this were a perfect world, there’d be no corpses, no violence; just warmth, and safety. Surrounded by family.

Rick came back. Then it was three against two, and the groups were unevenly matched; no weapons, just surrendered defenses, for the prisoners, while your three—the men of your group, sans Glenn—were well-armed, looking down the barrels.

They seemed like good guys. You knew people like them, from before. People who were honest creatures—who had done stupid things, sometimes unforgivable things, but redeemed themselves day-by-day, piece-by-piece. You watched the demeanors of the prisoners, one standing tall while the other was fidgety with nerves, and concluded: they’re good people.

“Rick,” you said quietly. You felt your stomach drop when Rick broke his stare-down, his attention turning towards you. He looks so scary when he’s mad, like a ticking time bomb. “I don’t… I don’t think they’re like Tomas.”

Rick exchanged a glance with Daryl, then T-Dog. They were all giving you the same look—one of doubt, and sympathy. They remembered the stories you told of your life before. They knew why you were nervous and soft-spoken. And a subconscious part of them wondered if it was really wise to trust a former psychiatric patient.

“We’re just taking precautions,” Rick told you.

“But—what if they’re good guys?” You looked at him pleadingly. You didn’t want to play a part in an innocent man’s condemnation. And not one, but two trials were at play. “They could help us clear the prison.”

“Y/N, please.” Rick shook his head, looking tired. You wondered how he could look so unaffected, when moments ago he was hammering the life out of a man made of blood and bone. Was it the cop in him? Or did part of his humanity leave when he murdered his best friend? “Think of Lori. Carl. They could get hurt if we put trust in the wrong people.”

They could get hurt if we put trust in the wrong people. Where had you heard those words before? You were sure they sounded familiar. “I know, but…” You bit your lip. “You’re not going to kill them, are you?”

Rick was serious when he said, “Not unless they try something.”

You were relieved. Not unless they try something. You could trust his word. He wouldn’t go back on it. He wouldn’t hurt an innocent man. He only killed the monsters—like Tomas. Like Shane.

Not unless they try something.

Not unless they try something.

Right?

-

         You supposed it was only time before your utopia would break into calamity. You only wished it hadn’t been at the sake of walkers.

Tranquility was hard to find, especially in times like this. You’d thought the prison would be a haven in a world without civilization—looked to it as a beacon, after the initial suspicion wore off—but now—as you watched Rick scream for his wife and child, as those outside in the field broke into sprints for the courtyard, as Daryl yelled for you… You couldn’t move. You were paralyzed to your spot.

If you could trade places, you’d rather be back in time, watching Rick’s machete slice through Tomas’s cranium on an endless time-loop. At least then, you’d been safe. A bystander. Not being crowded in on by mindless, flesh-eating beasts; not watching as the people in the courtyard scattered, little Carl shooting at corpses as they snarled and reached out hungrily. Beth and Hershel closed themselves in at a gate. Maggie was leading Carl and Lori through a door. T-Dog was bitten.

Just as a walker’s hand gripped your shirt, your fight-or-flee instinct kicked in. Flinging yourself away from the danger, you did what you did best.

You ran.

You ran, and ran, and ran, and ran. You took the door you’d seen T-Dog and Carol go through, feeling a sob scratch at your throat when you heard the snarls, the growls, felt the intensity of hunger in the air. You slammed the door behind you—only to realize the entire corridor was full of echoing screams.

The scary’s gonna get ya.

The scary’s gonna get ya.

The scary’s gonna get ya.

You only had a knife. No gun, no armor, no inhaler, no nothing. Just a knife—and a broken, senseless mind.

A bitter resentment welled inside you, like a fledging parasite, as you pat and circled hands all around your body. Shame on you, Y/N, the voice in your head taunted; Now you’re going to die! Death did not scare you, not really—what really scared you was dying alone. Dying painfully, slowly. Being taken by your monsters rather than on your own grounds. Ever since you saw Dale with his stomach torn open, you had sleeping patterns plagued by you being teared at and eaten alive.

Were your nightmares about to come alive?

Walkers banged and shrieked against the door, obviously angered by their separation from their next meal. You whispered to yourself, “They can’t get you. You’re not going to die…”

Taking out the knife from your sheath, you began to run again, paying no attention to the muffled gunshots and yelling from behind the door—

The prison corridors were like a labyrinth. Every which way you went, it came up feeling like a dead end. There were corpses littering the floors, and blood splatters on the walls, beneath your shoes; you slowed your running to a hasty jog after slamming into a wall from slipping. Your mind was haywire with anxieties, going rampant with visuals of your friends being torn apart and left to die slow. You couldn’t breathe, couldn’t pay any attention, stumbling like a walker would; what if your worries were true?

T-Dog was bitten. What if he was already dead, before you had any real chance to say goodbye?

As you got to the end of the next corridor, you heard something. It sounded like… chewing. Walker snarls mixed in with chewing.

You slowly peered out from the corner, and what you saw made your heart leap into your throat…

The walkers were leaning over something, pulling out innards and wolfing down blood and intestinal matter.

“Oh, my God,” you said, horrified. The only two people to have went down this hallway were… “T-..T...”

One walker slowly turned in your direction. Flesh was hanging down from its teeth. As it caught your eye, it snarled.

You couldn’t go back. Walkers were at the door, just waiting to devour you alive. Holding your knife tight, aim unsteady and shaky… you slowly began your approach. One walker stayed over T-Dog’s body, continuing to eat what lay in front of it, while this one—it saw its opportunity for live, fresh meat, and was going to take it.

Ignoring the ball of nerves suffocating you from the inside out, you raised your knife—and got knocked into the wall just as you hit your target.

Your knife was sticking out of its head. You could have taken the few seconds needed to extract it—you had some time before the walker’s comrade would notice your existence—but... but you couldn’t breathe.

You held a hand to your throat. You felt the vein beneath your finger, but it did nothing to calm you. Your stomach was coiled, limbs stiff. As you stumbled forward, terror-filled eyes intent on the door beside T’s half-eaten corpse, you felt something snap. Your body became flightless, bounded, and you fell to a knee.

That’s when the feelings intensified. That’s when you could no longer swallow, or breathe, and all that was real was the choking sensation in your throat.

Not here, not now. You were trembling, so intensely afraid that all you could think were those four words; not here, not now. Over and over again. Not here, not now. Not here, not now. A monster was mere feet away from you, and you were here, frozen in place, back turned to an opening that could easily house more monsters. The monster in front of you was occupied, but that didn’t change the scary reality that you were slowly drowning. That after it finished eating, it’d move onto you.

The scary’s gonna get ya someday. And that day’s today, sweetheart.

Even while kneeled, you were dizzy. There was an aching in you that would not go away, no matter how hard you tried to get rid of it. Your chest hurt, your stomach hurt, your legs hurt, all to a point your nerves were shutting down and a tingling pressure was spreading across your skin. Numb. You were going numb. You remembered your nightmares, in that point, as you fought to breathe.

Running so fast, your legs caught, and you tripped. Screaming so loud your larynx was ripped and shredded. Fumbling for an imaginary weapon as the monsters caught up to you and took turns picking away skin. Pleading for an invisible god to save you from your fate, his laugh echoing all around you.

There were footsteps. From in front of you, the walker had gotten bored of the dead, tainted meat, and was standing. It stared at you with glistening, faded eyes, watching you intently. Was it mad that you had killed its brother? No, no, that couldn’t be right; walkers had no sense of loyalty. They didn’t care, not in the way that humans did. It growled when you made eye contact, and it stumbled into the wall on its path to you.

You clenched your eyes shut, shaking. So choked and scared you couldn’t even find it in you to cry.

This was it. You were going to die.

Alone. Slowly. Painfully. Just like you feared. Just like they had all warned you, years and years ago.

Right as the walker got so close you could taste its rancid odor, you heard a shot. A gunshot. The garbling stopped, as did the loud,  over-theatrical footsteps; but there were secondary sounds, ones your cotton-stuffed ears couldn’t comprehend. Voices. Purposeful footsteps. All accompanying the shrill buzzer as it rang, with no intention of faltering.

Through the fog of your panic, you could not piece whichever direction the voices came, whether they were familiar, or if you were truly saved from danger. The anxiety that swelled in your chest made sure of your uselessness, and you could do nothing except sit there, shaking, like lamb being led to the slaughter.

Your eyes fluttered opened. The choking sensation was still there, and the full extent of your senses still hadn’t returned, but you had enough energy to see. The world around you was blurry, almost completely black. Your eyes locked on the hungry walker that was rushing towards you moments before, and now, it was dead. Its gaze was dead. Its arms were immobile. And it couldn’t hurt you.

It can’t hurt you. It can’t hurt you. You’re okay, Y/N.

You’re safe.

Your bottom lip quivered, mouth opening soundlessly. Words were lost. Who was behind you? A presence was to the right of you. Your nerves were severed—all feeling lost in a whole other realm of consciousness—to the point where you didn’t realize someone was touching you. Someone was talking to you.

Trying to make you feel safe.

You glanced down at your crumbled form. There was a hand on your leg, too large and coiled with muscle to be a woman’s. You wondered if it was Daryl. You wanted it to be Daryl. You wished he would just take you into his arms, broken mind and all.

“Y/N.” That’s what he was saying. You were watching his lips, your vision the only sense that could still function, albeit in a dysfunctional way. “Watch my lips. Watch me.” He was trying to calm you down. Those were his special words. “Count.” He always needed to remind you. Whenever you talked about your previous doctors and all the coping mechanisms you had shoved down your throat, he actually listened. He always chose the ones that worked best for you. Counting and breathing.

You counted. You ignored your surroundings—ignored Daryl—and counted.

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten.

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten.

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten.

Daryl was still there when you finished. He watched with concerned eyes as you took long, uneven breaths, eyelids fluttering open then closed. Over and over again.

“You alright?” he said hesitantly. It wasn’t a question. He knew you weren’t alright.

He just wanted you to speak. Instead of sitting there, like a broken doll, your pieces spilled out across the linoleum aisle. It was an affirmation that you would be alright.

I’m not insane.

“I will be,” you told him.

As your senses rushed to you, you realized that the two of you weren’t alone. Daryl seemed to have the same realization. He looked to his two companions—Rick and Oscar—and jerked his head. As though he were saying, We’ll be alright. Go on ahead. Rick nodded, his eyes reading paternal concern as he glanced at you, before the two of them went rushing through the door. The door Carol left.

“Daryl…” A sob clumped in your throat. You forcibly swallowed it down. “I... I…” You couldn’t get the words out.

Daryl seemed to know what you were trying to say. His gaze hardened, and he pulled you into his arms. His greasy head nuzzled against you, and his arms roped around you like a lasso, caging you in completely. He muttered against the skin of your neck, “It’s gonna be a’ight, Y/N.” He pressed a kiss there. It was something he took up doing to you all throughout winter, when your panic attacks came swiftly and violently, never in serene circumstances.

“They killed him, Daryl,” you cried. “I don’t—”

“You don’t have to,” he said, cutting you off.

“But I do.” You slowly put your arms around Daryl, fully returning the embrace. “Or I… I’ll get killed.”

“I’ll protect ya.” Daryl’s voice was firm, and held no room for argument. “You won’t get hurt under my watch, darlin’. I promise.”

I promise.

I promise.

You squeezed your eyes shut, arms growing tighter around Daryl’s neck. “You don’t know that, Daryl,” you told him hoarsely. “You… you can’t be there all the time.”

The scary doesn’t wait, you told yourself, when the voice in your head protested against the pessimism. It’ll catch up with me.

Daryl pulled back. When you didn’t meet his gaze, he took your chin, tipping it upward. You stared into his cerulean eyes, held captive by the ferocity you saw inside. “I will,” he snapped. When he saw the doubt in your eyes, his gaze only sharpened; “You’ll be safe. I don’t care what it takes, Y/N. I’ll keep ya safe.”

He sounded so sure. Who were you but to believe him?

Against the shrill sound of the prison alarm, you laid your head on Daryl’s chest.

But against the other voices, as they cried for you to be realistic, you sagged in relief.

[mintyrosemary]

Rivaini Seer Ability Tree

so, i'm really upset at b//oware for, well, many reasons in general. but do not be misguided, i love dragon age too fucking much to quit.

so, please have this rivaini seer ability tree, because b//oware doesnt give rivain enough attention. or lore. or love. i'll probably make more ability trees like that, like a magister one, or a tamassran one. but for now, enjoy this!

Seer - Mastering the ability of the Rivaini seers isn't something one does over the night. Seers can be willingly possessed, channeling spirits and communicating with them, with a certain passion no other mage has. They're also often seen as parental figures for their community, being protective by nature.

Natural Order; passive - Fueled by the love and the force of the Order, you influence those around you. Spiritual forces, good and bad, notice you and follow you around.

-5 defense for yourself, + 10 defense for your party members. if you have another mage in the party, this ability's power is doubled.

Clarity; active - As a role figure for your friends, your strength helps them unlock potential in themselves that they did not know they had.

You stun an enemy, and for 10 seconds, your party's attack is boosted by 15%. Rogues benefit the most from this, and instead, their chance of getting a critical hit is boosted by 15%.

Friends of the Qun; active/focus - Being raised around people and friends who were part of the Qun, (born and converts), has taught you a thing or two about their training.

The more damage you take, the faster this ability unlocks. You can only use this ability after your health has dropped below 50%.

Once unlocked, you tense up your muscles, and like a dragon, your body burns with fire. Enemies who attack you will feel 50% of the damage they give you, as well as the damage from your own attacks.

Medium; active - Seers are not only friends with spirits, they're friends with themselves. This allows them to reach an inner peace and control that not many mages can, and their body is way more receptive to being possessed.

You call upon a spirit of Compassion, who gladly uses your vessel as a tool of work. It heals your whole party, and ressurrects any party members who were knocked down.

It has a cost, however. You stay stunned for 10 seconds, while your mana refills to the max. During this period, you cannot cast spells or drink lyrium potions, as your body is re-adjusting to your soul again.

Familiars; passive - Seer of Rivain have friends on the other side. Some of them have buddies from birth, some of the have had them from past lives, sometimes they only halfway through this life. But they're bound to find each other, always.

By having a friend following you, be it human or animal, you dont feel very lonely. Not to mention, they are natural protective barriers. When you unlock this ability, you get an extra ability point for your magic and strength.

Afterwards, you have a cool litle ghost following you around. +15 defense for your party, cause ghosts make you cool at parties.

Riot; passive - You are a Seer, and you will not give that up. You do not submit to the forces of the chantry, just like your community and ancestors resisted against them. You always look out for others.

If at least one person in your party approve of you, or are friends with you, your attack is boosted by 7% per person. If you are rivals with someone or they dont approve of you, your strength is boosted by 7% per person.

FRIENDSHIP VS RIVALRY

(because i miss dragon age 2)

Friendship with [SEER CHARACTER].

[NAME]'s got your back. And front. And sides. And spirit. You got it. Well, they got it. Yeah.

Being friends with [SEER CHARACTER] gives you an extra slot for potions and poisons. It also gives you an extra point in Herbalism.

Rivalry with [SEER CHARACTER]

[NAME]'s got your back. Lucky for you, they're not an assassin. Or maybe you're just not ready yet!

Being rivals with [SEER CHARACTER] gives you more focus everytime you get hit. Being hit by demons and abominations gives even more focus.

✫　✧  ˚      . 　* 　✷   ˚   ✫ •̤ᴗ•̤ ✫　✧  ˚      . 　* 　✷   ˚   ✫

yeah, thats it! i love writing stuff like this so definitely expect more. also feel free to send me suggestions in my asks! id love to do requests!

DONT repost without credit. it takes a lot of time to write these. repost ONLY with credit!!

[wahbegan]

Red’s Retro Reviews - Condemned Criminal Origins

Hello and welcome to the tag where I use my otherwise useless and time-consuming habit of taking very old classic games that I’ve wrung all the enjoyment out of like a troubled child with an injured bird and turn it into entertainment! Maybe one day the editor of some chic magazine will hire me to talk about how much I know about Batman: Arkham Asylum and how much I hate myself for it.

Anyway, this week I thought I’d start off with an overlooked little gem that had a bit of cult notoriety and good critical reception, but which otherwise nobody gave an ounce of rat shit about: the Condemned series. More specifically, the original game.

Now, when I ask you who started the extremely lucrative habit of live-streaming themselves hilariously over-reacting to horror games, you might be tempted to say the Game Grumps, or Markiplier if you’re younger, or Pewdiepie if you’re the kind of person who unironically uses the phrase anti-white racism. But you’d all be wrong and stupid. Also possibly nazi sympathizers, but I digress.

NO! The first college-age white boys who decided it would be a good idea to beam them fucking up a video game to thousands and thousands of people online are..........lost to history because archiving of the exact history of internet trends is such an enormous clusterfuck that for years people were convinced, and some still are, that Slenderman was a real urban legend and not something some dickhead made up for a photoshop competition circa 2009

But ONE of the first was the 4 Players Network, or 4 Players Podcast, or 4PP. I know very little about these guys, so if they all turned out to be nonces and serial killers please don’t @ me, but what i DO know, is that they uploaded a video that changed my life forever. This video was “Holy Crap That’s a Bear !” Certainly not a name that would stand out in today’s massively oversaturated Let’s Play market, but this delightful video documented these two dumb assholes losing their shit over a game. The game of course, being Condemned 2: Bloodshot. Specifically, the level in which you are chased through a hunting lodge by a rabid bear. As an aside, I looked it up, having never heard of the phenomenon, and apparently it’s very rare, but yes bears can and do get rabies, usually with just about as fatal results as you would expect. So sweet dreams!

Anyway, watching this couple of dipshits get jumpscared and mauled to death by a poorly rendered bear again and again as they were repeatedly outwitted at every turn by an entity with a few lines of programming instead of a brain was, in y’know the year 2008,  the absolute most fun a 14-year-old boy could have. Clearly it still is, but you always remember your first time, particularly when the only LPs i have watched since were a handful of markiplier videos with a girl in college who liked to get me very stoned and then put them on because she thought that counted as courtship.

A n y w a y, apart from the unfortunate and definitely a mistake innovation of streaming video games, the sequence of being chased through a claustrophobic environment by a bear which can rip down doors, break through walls, run faster than you, shrug off 15 shotgun blasts to the face without so much as sneezing, etc. seemed incredibly tense and original, an amazing concept for a game. Once again, this was circa 2008 before “Run for your fucking life” had become the norm for horror games.

So then why the fuck are you not reviewing that game?? You might be thinking if you’re still reading this which someone clearly is or my narrative voice would have ceased to exist by now in that tree falling in the woods kind of way. Well, dear reader, while Condemned 2 was better than the first game in a LOT of ways, it’s always worth taking a gander at the one that started it all. Also, Condemned 1 is, if only slightly, probably better known. Also, Bloodshot commits the cardinal sin of over-explaining the first game’s mystery and a result making it kind of goofy and ridiculous see also the entire history of the Halloween franchise, and as a result the ending is....well, a bit shit, to be honest. Finally, and most importantly, it’s not on Steam for 3 dollars, so shut up

The thing about Condemned is that while Let’s Plays and seemingly inanimate objects moving only when you’re not looking at them and unstoppable juggernauts of wanton death have now become the norm for video game horror (and thanks a fucking bunch, Doctor fucking Who, for always being what people say started the inanimate object fuckery even though Stephen King did it in The Shining in the FUCKING 70s and let’s be honest it’s just a primal universal fear and i’ll be in the cold fucking ground before that bloody show sees one ounce of credit where it isn’t due), Condemned as a whole has remained remarkably unique. Not wholly unique, the developers have heavily borrowed from genre-straddling crime horror movies like Silence of the Lambs and Se7en and in fact almost beat-for-beat stole the most infamous jump scare from the latter, but if it still ends with shit in my pants, and it does, I can’t really call it a failure.

Most of the creativity the game DOES have is in the gameplay itself, or rather one aspect of the two aspects of the gameplay. It’s the combat I’m talking about the combat, seeing as that’s basically all there is. Let’s just get this out of the way first, the forensic investigation shit is........well, it’s a bit shit. Oh yes, there’s a couple crime scenes you have to “solve” in a cursory almost a cutscene sort of way, where you have helpful premonitions about where you’re supposed to look and, as your lab tech helpfully informs you, “the system will choose which tool you need for you, so don’t worry about that!” Well, Christ kill me, thank God YOU know between the three fucking tools I have, one of which is an everything sensor and one of which is just a fucking camera which I’m supposed to use, God knows I wouldn’t have liked to have solved that mystery myself. It’s a shame because some of the crime scenes are quite intricate and yes, I would have liked to have put together myself that “wait a minute there’s a handprint in the paint here that matches the killer but the UV light shows an old blood spatter on the wall right above where he’d be sitting to make it, THAT MUST MEAN-” but nope. No you just have a premonition of the guy getting clobbered over the back of the head because the game is so terrified you won’t be able to put two and two together that it points out both the twos and hands you a multiplication table and nudges you and looks meaningfully at four every few minutes if you hesitate.

Anyway, that’s all the whingeing about the gameplay out of the way, because the rest of it is just delightful. Condemned is the rare first person game that focuses almost solely on melee combat and the almost unheard of one that does it well. In fact, it is the only example I can think of that’s not shit. Weapons all have individual stats to do with their heft and how far they can reach and how much of a man’s skull you can cave in at once with it and you have to choose between the plank with nails sticking out of it you can swing three times a second but you have to beat a man so badly with it it’s tiring just to watch and the sledgehammer, which demands a two weeks’ notice in writing if you’re planning on hitting someone with it, but will basically render every living thing in its considerable swing arc sent to the fucking Shadow Realm upon impact.

Something about the sound effects and the way the weapons in this game control really gets under my skin, I was killed by a 300-pound Subway-dwelling crazy survivalist wielding the aforementioned sledgehammer, and when I went down, I was sure I was familiar with the sound effect that played when it struck my skull, a sort of distant, muffled ringing of bone hitting metal. Wait a minute, I thought, I know I’ve experienced this in real life, how did they get this sound effect? Did they kill a man with a hammer to get this sound effect? Was I killed with a hammer in a past life? Killing people is equally fucking unpleasant as even the most vicious and inhuman looking ones don’t go down easily, and you can see them spit gobs of broken teeth and blood and god knows what, hear the lovingly researched impact noises, and almost feel the impact as you necessitate years of reconstructive facial surgery with one swing of your mighty chunk of concrete attached to a rebar. Then some of them have the gall to shakily get to their knees, not quite dead, trying to mumble something and you’re required to hit them AGAIN, which is always harrowing. To quote another underappreciated piece of media about the joys of gruesome murder: Why won’t you just die?! This is hard enough for me!!

The guns you do get are absolute balls, generally having about three bullets in them, you can’t reload them even if you find the exact same type of gun later, you can’t hold them in your inventory, and if you want an aiming reticle you have to actively turn it on in the options menu, and you can almost hear the game laughing at you for being such a shameless pussy.

Well, you now might be thinking to yourself, cheers for making the effort, but I’m not an insane person and therefore do not think the idea of a brutally beating people to death simulator sounds very enticing, but that’s the thing, it’s not really supposed to be. It does have a strangely addictive quality after a while, but for the most part it’s panicky and harrowing and grotesque and you really don’t want to do it but you have no choice, which is absolutely the best kind of survival horror. See, the combat in survival horror is always a bit of a sticking point, isn’t it? Because if you give the player too much firepower it just becomes an action game with spooky set pieces, but if you give them none at all, as is chic today, you better have loads of other surprises in store buddy boy, because the sheen on that trend has died and now you’re just likely to get slapped with the dreaded WALKING SIMULATOR sticker.

No, the best kind of combat for a horror feel is exactly the kind Condemned delivers, so of course they never FUCKING did it again. You leave every fight low on supplies, exhausted, badly wounded, and a bit sick at what you just reduced a human being’s skull to. Too often, the combat in games is, even that word “combat” it’s clean, it’s cold, it’s detached, it’s a very unique euphemism for butchering God knows how many people. I play this little game in my head when I go through games sometimes trying to keep track of how many unique, thinking, feeling entities I’ve just reduced to a mess for the janitor to mop up, and I always lose track around the third level. Condemned isn’t like that. Its violence is violence: horrible, awful, terrifying violence, and it doesn’t let you forget it. 

The graphics also add a lot to the horror if you can get past the dated polygonal weird-ass xbox 360 at launch faces and cutscenes, which is actually pretty easy once you get used to it. The level and character design is fantastic, and really adds a lot to the whole feel of the game. Everywhere you look is dark and labyrinthine, crumbling with rebars jutting out and exposed paneling and plumbing beneath holes rotted in the walls and grime and blood and god knows what just staining everything. This game is really nihilistic in tone, and you get the sense just from the graphics that you’re somewhere nobody gives a shit about, in a part of a city that’s just been left to die and rot. One almost gets the feeling moving around the fourth or fifth condemned (ohhhhh I see what they did there) building that the whole city is just a ghost town full of nobody but violent lunatics, and also that if you keep playing for too long you might get hepatitis just from exposure.

Plot-wise, I could fill another twenty paragraphs with petty gripes. It’s a bit Kill List which i’m sure is a reference you all understand in that it starts as a crime thriller about catching a serial murderer and ends in some bizarre insane bullshit halfway between Hereditary and Hellraiser, and leads you into it gently enough that you never really notice a sudden lurch.

You play as Ethan Thomas, a very boring and generic FBI Agent called in to investigate a serial killer case by two cops who are REMARKABLY blithe about murdering people, and it’s a bit jarring in today’s political climate. Though distrust, fear, and hatred of the police isn’t exactly new, and violence amongst police officers is brought up at one point, albeit in a loading screen, so honestly I can’t be arsed to speculate on what level of self-awareness we’re operating on here. Regardless, it’s bothersome.

“Oh yeah, this place is full of addicts, hopped up on something, I think, just shoot ‘em. What? Lost your gun, eh? That’s fine here’s a fire axe go nuts, kid, we’ll deal with the paperwork later”

Anyway, you are ambushed by a man you believe to be the killer for.......no real reason, really. He was spying on you checking out the crime scene, but we just established this place is full of squatters, what if one of the 8 people I murdered on the way into this ambush was the killer??? Case solved! 

Anyway, needless to say, without wishing to spoil, the dude IS the main antagonist the yellow eyes are a helpful giveaway, and he takes your gun and swiftly shoots Generic Beat Cop and Generic Dick with it, then throws you out a window, whereupon some other asshole whose main role in the game is to be enigmatic and plot-convenient, you know, one of THOSE characters, spirits you away from the scene, making it look like you just killed two cops and fled.

Now, in real life, as we all know, a cop can’t be indicted for murder even if 50 people saw him do it, but in this world, it means you have to go on the run from the FBI (not your lab tech, though, who is somehow assisting you from the lab and sending confidential data to your phone unnoticed??) while trying to solve the murder.

Meanwhile, in the background, in an “I’m sure this isn’t important and will in no way inform the last level of the game going batshit bonkers” kind of way, all of the people, including the cops, in certain dilapidated and neglected areas of the unnamed City City appear to be going what is medically known as balls-to-the-wall kill crazy, and birds are dropping dead from the sky by the thousands. Even you, protagonist, are prone to horrible screaming nightmare visions coming right the blazing blue fuck out of nowhere and that you never feel the need to comment on or go take a lie-down. I’m sure it’s nothing.

The voice acting is what you’d expect from this era of video games i.e. not good and the writing has an absolutely DESPICABLE habit of having characters tell Ethan things he should already god damned well know for the sake of gameplay or exposition, leading to my current theory that Agent Ethan Thomas has some kind of horrible head injury and can’t remember anything from over 2 minutes ago like Guy Pearce in that pretentious movie where he accidentally kills his wife and then runs around for two hours terrorizing random-ass people about it.

The game never full-on plays the AND THE MAN YOU’VE BEEN PLAYING AS WAS CRAZY THE WHOLE TIME card and leaves things a bit ambiguous, but after caving in the 15th vagrant’s head and the 7th vision you’ve had of being murdered by some Cenobite-looking motherfucker while conducting an unsanctioned investigation during a suspension prompted by you presumably murdering the shit out of two guys, you start to think this may not be standard FBI protocol. 

It’s all a bit hard to swallow is me point, a bit hard to sympathize, and a bit muddy if we’re supposed to or not. But you know what? It certainly isn’t boring, and I’d be lying if I told you it wasn’t effective. This game is now one of only two to have genuinely given me nightmares, and I think it’s rather telling that after I played the hallucination part I had the nightmare about, I was having genuine trouble remembering if something happened in my nightmare of it or in the actual version.

Condemned is batshit crazy, hilariously easy to write off as “that game about killing hobos”, and very, very dated. But it is genuinely harrowing and unpleasant, and was clearly genuinely made by artists with the intent of saying.....errr i’m not exactly sure what, but SOMETHING! It’s about as far a cry as you can get from the Triple A crawling with microtransactions like your MCM is with crabs milk-you-for-money-until-your-udders-bleed look-at-how-shiny-we-are games, and even a lot of indie horror games who think it’s a measure of a masterpiece being able just to constantly trigger your fight-or-flight response again and again and again so you can make a hilarious Let’s Play out of it not to name any names Five Night’s at Freddy’s. It’s a relic of a different and i think a better time in gaming history, where big-name publishers were still taking chances and hadn’t quite yet worked out the formula for how to distill games into their most skeletal, malnourished, corporate, addictive, glorified gambling form.

Also it’s 3 dollars on Steam and you can finish it in like ffffffffucking...two days? So really why the fuck not. I have no idea how to assign numbers to things i’d probably give ir a 7 or 8 or 4 out of 5 stars but i’m bad at systems like that, just play it if you give a shit. If nothing else, a bunch of people snapping it up out of nowhere will really fuck with marketing, which is always a noble pursuit

[sweetest-honeybee]

Sanders Sides Horror Story

Note: There are MANY trigger warnings in this, so be safe. There are mentions of blood, gore, knives, cutting, psychopathy, insanity, manipulation, Deceit Sanders, mouth sewing, crying, panic attacks, etc.

I hope you all enjoy this!

Tag list: @weirdonehereoops @prinxietyforlifefightmeiswear @pippippippin @mystghost @sleep-amongst-stars @56-reblogs-in-a-trenchcoat @small-words-to-say @blueberry1423 @miserykillme @dangernoodleprotectionsquad @0beansprout0 @therealpeterpan @ehekeb @rememberfateau-nowofficial @kitthepan @emovirgil-sanders @challywally @ravenclawangst @demonvirgil @sanderssquid @allthemetalsoftherainbow @idon-kno @romanochez @the-names-hell666 @devinedrabbles @hi-alex-the-ghost @thrown-out-pasta @smolbeanvirgil @thatonepersonwhoshipspeople @ineedahuganddontknowwhatsgoin @mystery-pinius

Patton has been acting strange lately. He’s been staying up much later, especially not even tucking anyone into their beds. He refuses, although politely, to eat with everyone-it would be a safe assumption that he wasn’t eating at all either even when alone. Speaking of being alone, many of the light sides could swear that they’d hear Patton crying in his room, but whenever anyone asked about it, they were met with a sickeningly bright smile or he wouldn’t acknowledge them at all and avoid the question.

And even Logan, who pressed and pressed for some kind of information was still stuck on why Patton had changed so suddenly. Possibly he was sick or was developing a mental illness, and in all cases would harm Thomas so someone needed a reply from Patton in some way.  

He’s also been very emotional and moody. He would be happy and one comment would send him into tears. Sometimes he would be in the middle of yelling-which that alone wasn’t normal for him-and then suddenly begin laughing hysterically. Any who witnessed it were almost terrified for his well being-Virgil especially.

However, Patton didn’t care for his anxiety. He noticed that with the stress it’s been causing Virgil, he’s been more snappy and insulted Roman to farther extents than sarcastic or playful, They’ve become more ill-mannered and uncivil and because of how often it was, Roman’s self esteem was continuously getting lower and lower. His hair was getting messier and his sleeves were always long. The bags under his eyes only grew and the fake smiles were getting brighter and brighter.

And Patton knew he had to do something about this, something about the anxious side. He needed to keep that angry mouth shut and he already had a plan. Roman, needed some love.

Blackmail was oddly something he’s tried before and learned from many of the other sides. Logan was his easy target and he wouldn’t let down his pride for anything. He has to be seen as stoic and rational and serious. If he was seen doing anything that didn’t fall under those categories, he knew he would be done for.

And with how much smack-talk Virgil’s been throwing recently, it was a highly likely possibility.   

He collected several pictures of Logan and visited the logicalt trait. The pictures were along the many lines of questionable and would ruin Logan’s reputation if anyone saw them. With one simple request and a seeming innocent smile, Logan now worked for Patton. He now helped him with any unnerving task he was faced with as long as Patton had the pictures.

Patton explained what they would do to Virgil and Logan felt sick to his stomach but knew it had to be done. Virgil has to hold his tongue if even that meant that they would sew it shut.

It was easy to get Virgil alone since him and Patton were cuh close friends. Patton made it seem like he was going to have a lovely little conversation with him and Virgil led him to the living room quickly. Logan waited around the corner for a few minutes around the corner of the doorway, holding a needle and thread. At this point he regretted what he was about to do.

“Oh! Sorry, I have to tie my shoe, hold on,” Virgil said, leaning down to tie his purple converse. Patton made eye contact with Logan and nodded.

He snaked his arms around Virgil from behind, restricting his arms from movement.

“Uh, Patton? You okay buddy?”

“I’m only giving you a hug!”

“This-” he struggled,”-This doesn’t feel like a hug. It feels like you’re strangling me.”

“Well, maybe I’m trying to do that too.” Patton’s voice changed to a low growl and he hugged tighter.

“What? Wait-”

“I’m sorry, Virgil. It had to be done.��� Logan emerged from the doorway.

“Logan? What are you doing?!” Logan kneeled by Virgil and raised the needled to the anxious side’s lips.

“Logan! What are you-Hmph!” Virgil yelped and screamed. The needle pierced his lips over and over, the uncomfortable sensation of the thread going through his skin. Blood dripped from his chin and he writhed and twisted in Patton’s grip, but it was no use. Tears flowed from his cheeks while he shook vigorously. When Logan finished, he stood up and let Patton release Virgil to fall to the floor, sobbing.

Logan muttered hundreds upon hundreds of apologies, feeling terrible but Patton told him to do it.

“Pa-hmph-mm-”

“Sorry, kiddo, but thats what you get for being mean to Roman. Don’t worry! You’ll be okay!” Patton’s smile was twisted as Virgil looked up at him and Logan with horror.

“It’ll all get better soon!Don’t cry!You’ll be a part of a very happy family once I’m finished!” Virgil whimpered and touched the threads closing his mouth, wincing.

“It’ll heal if you try not to speak Virgil,” Logan said sternly. Virgil simply sat on the floor, now quietly crying. Logan and Patton looked at each other before walking away from Virgil.

It was now Roman’s turn and the prince certainly just couldn’t be unhappy! Patton made a plan for that too.

Days later he found the disheveled creative side hunched over at the dining room table with a single mug of coffee. His face was tucked into his right hand while he stirred the coffee with his spoon dolefully. The room was hardly lit and some could even notice that the cabinets were cracked and the paint was chipped. It was as if no life was in the mind anymore without his glorious singing and dramatic entrances everywhere he went.

Patton acted sympathetic and quietly approached Roman carefully. Softly, he set his hand on the younger’s shoulder.

“Hey Kiddo,” he started, whispering as to not startle the other,”You feelin’ okay, Bud?” Roman simply groaned in reply.

“I could be ten times better. I could be writing and singing….but I just don’t feel it anymore,” he said solemnly, pushing his coffee away from himself. “I bet you’re doing a lot finer than me Padre.” Patton clicked his tongue.

“Aw, Roman. Is it because of what Virgil said?” Roman scoffed.

“What Virgil said was something that meant more to me than anything. He criticized me, called my many names with the same definition of idiot, and gave no shits when I did anyhting for him or got hurt. So yes, Patton, it is because of what Virgil said. I’m surprised Deceit hadn’t join him while he still could. The two have been….quiet.”

With a twitch of his ever bright smile, Patton spoke again.

“That’s no way to talk about yourself!”

“Patton, please-”

“I will shower you in compliments! But also, can you come with me to my room? I have a surprise for you! And Logan’s in on it too! What do ya say?” Roman sighed with the slightest of smiles and stood from his chair.

“Alright.”

Through the hallway, Patton complimented Roman and showered him with affection. He held his hand, gave him cheek kisses, and did all sorts of things. But he didn’t know what he was getting into.

As they got to the baby blue door, Patton made sure that Roman was ready to walk inside. The prince seemed like he had an entire mood shift. He was excited, although still a little weary and was bouncing on the soles of his feet. When Roman was close enough, Patton opened the door, showing them both a dark room.

“What? Where’s the surprise?”

“In there, Silly! You have to walk inside!”

“Oh! Alright?” Roman hesitantly walked in and looked around, seeing a normal bedroom filled with stuff animals. “This doesn’t look too surprise-y, Patton. Are you lying to me? Wait, Deceit?!”

“It’ll be fine, Roman! Have a good time!” The door slammed shut and Roman instantly was filled with worry. With several attempts to break down the door, it wouldn’t budge. He started panicking more and more as time went by, yelling for help.

That was until a shadowy figure approached him and everything went black.

It only felt like he was out for a few minutes. The sound of a soothing voice and classical music was what awakened him from his mini-comatose. With a short blink, he opened his eyes slightly. The room was blurry, but he noticed several golds, oranges, and blues and browns. Different speckles of bright light danced around in his vision and he opened his eyes wider to get a clear view of the room.

Logan’s room, perhaps. No other room had tables set with bottles of colored liquid and a map of the world up on the wall. Also it was worth noting that a tray of knives and syringes laid next to him on the nightstand which caused him more terror. Come to think of it, he was completely immobile. He was strapped to the mattress by leather and struggling to move only made it feel tighter.

“Logan! Patton! Where are you?! Deceit! Is this your doing?! Is it because I called you Snake Face that one time?!”

“Calm down, Roman. He would never do that, Only the happy are the strongest and he isn’t one of us.” Roman raised his head as much as he could and saw Patton smiling maniacally, eyes twitching. A knife was in his hand and he walked towards Roman while the prince screamed in fear at the sight. He felt as if he was in a horror movie.

It only got worse from there. Within seconds, an agonizing pain shot through his chest and he let out a single ear piercing scream followed by cries. The sharp knife slashed through his skin and blood spilled over onto the bed sheets.

“Patton! Patton please stop! Patton it hurts! Patton please! Please stop!” he begged but to no avail. Patton only continued.

“Sorry, Roman! All princes need to be discouraged! Just listen to me and it will all be over!” Within minutes, Roman complied. His screaming dialed down now to whimpers and blubbering.

And just like that he made like a glow stick and cracked. He was free now for Patton to mold into the happy prince he needed to be.An eternal smile was carved into his face and his eyes were widened to look forever surprised.  

“Lolo! You wanna help me put the finishing touch?” Logan, who stood aside quietly watching with horror nodded and walked over to the two.

“What is it that I can assist you with?”

“Can you whip something up in your little lab to get rid of his scars?” Logan faltered for a moment.

“Ah-uhm-yes, I can. I will get started on that.”

“Was that hesitation? Do you not want to help me make everyone better?” Patton lifted the knife once more the the logical side’s neck. The other shook his head quickly.

“Apologies, but you unsettle me sometimes.”

“Sorry, Lo! But that was a part of the deal! You do whatever I say without. Any. Hesitation.” By the end of the phrase his expression grew darker and Logan gulped. After nodding, the logical trait hurriedly stumbled over to his small lab station.

“And while you do that, I’m gonna take Roman to his room. Also, I might enjoy myself to some cookies. I’m feelin’ dangerous!” With that, Patton hoisted Roman by the arms over his shoulders and dragged him out of the room forcefully. Logan watched and now felt so much regret for every decision he made up to this point. The pictures were nothing to him anymore but he feared what Patton might do to him of his disobeyed his master.

Within about thirty minutes, the solution was finished and Logan poured it into a erlenmeyer flask, plugging the top with a cork. It was probably not the safest way of closing it but it was what he had for such a large amount of liquid. He exited the room, trying to find Patton and saw the normally bubbly trait sitting on his bed eating a plate of cookies.

“Hello, Patton. I’ve finished the serum to rid Roman of his-” he swallowed for a second,”-his scars. I hope this will suffice.”

“Can we get him to drink it?”

“Uh-Wha? I don’t think it’s drinkable but you can try. If it kills him, that will be a-”

“Perfect thing! He’s just been too sad and sulky so if he dies that’s not a problem at all!”Logan’s eye twitched at his ignorance but he still stayed calm and contained against his every will.

Patton made his way to Roman’s room where the prince still lay unconscious, although still looking awake. His eyes were wide open and his mouth was formed into the false smile Patton gave him earlier. The now morally grey side took conjured a sponge and poured the solution onto it. He scrubbed every nook and crevice of the prince’s body, watching in awe as the scars faded immediately.

Now to test what happens inside the body.

He took Roman’s jaw and forced it open, pouring the liquid inside his mouth and tilting his head to where he could swallow it. Nothing happened after a few moments and Patton groaned disdainfully. Well, it could’ve gone worse he guessed.

“Logan, I have an idea.”

“And that is?”

“Well first, what is happening to Thomas right now?”

“Ah-uhm...he is almost very reckless in his actions and does not care to sing or pursue acting. He has no self esteem and planning anything with Joan and Talyn-”

“Stop right there.”

“What?”

“Joan and Talyn! They are a part of this FAMily, yes?”

“Uh...yes?”

“And I’m thinking that we should make them eternally happy as well! Bust them up a bit! Downgrade them then build them up again!”

“What?!”

“I know! I’m such a genius!” Logan now lost it. The very thought of Joan or Talyn being in any type of danger fueled a fire inside him.

“Patton, we are not hurting his friends! Do you even care about them! All you’ve been focused on is putting everyone near death! You are nothing but a psychopath!” Logan yelled and waved his hands around, making his point.

But Patton didn’t think Logan would ever be something he had to fix. He’s been so docile and obedient throughout everything! He thought the happy family was almost complete! But apparently this teacher of his wouldn’t behave. And he needed to fix that and make him happy. To make him smile forever.

“Well, Logan, if that’s how you feel then leave. I’ll finish this myself.” Logan was a little surprised but walked off quickly. He had no more plans to work for Patton-the father would never succeed without his intelligence so he was now no more than an inconvenience.

But oh how wrong he was. He wouldn´t ever be safe from Patton.

The moral trait waited a few days, making Logan feel like he was safe and sound. He thought that Patton wouldn’t do anything and just give up entirely. However, late in the evening while he dressed himself in his unicorn onesie for bed, an unsuspecting father-like side creeped into the bedroom with his now iconic knife. Within seconds after Logan fixed his zipper, Patton jumped at him from the closet and pinned him to the floor.

But Logan hardly seemed phased. Right now, he was filled with terror but a blank facade engraved his facial features. The knife was held against his neck, a small dribble of blood leaking down the side if it.

“It seems I have to fix you now Lolo! Don’t ever leave me again.” Patton smiled psychotically and unzipped Logan’s onesie.

“Patton, you have no reason to do this,” Logan said, holding the waver in his voice. “This isn’t anything like you. You are Morality-Patton Sanders. You are not meant to hurt people and make them feel bad.” Patton growled.

“Don’t tell me what I’m made for! That’s all you do to everyone! You’re mean and rude and just-ARGH!” The knife went down onto to logical sides chest harshly and out of sheer terror, Logan didn’t move in the slightest. He was too far into shock to scream or cry out. And this didn’t please Patton at all.

The cuts were definitely deep enough to hurt, but the worst part was that they were shallow enough to keep him alive-and he didn’t want to be alive through it. He would rather die.  

The moral trait carved a large bloody heart where Logan’s would be and slit several lines into his stomach. Logan kept is mouth shut and whimpered softly at the agonizing pain going through his entire body. Patton sat on his legs while the cold steel of the blade dragged down his torso and laughed hysterically while he did so.

“Ugh!This won’t do!” Patton yelled, stopping. He zipped up the onesie, catching some loose skin in the zipper, making Logan yelp.

Tugging the side by the hair, Patton shoved him into the kitchen. Logan stumbled and gripped the counter, but still seemed emotionless. At any moment he would pass out from the lack of blood in his body, but Patton had other plans. Once again, he grabbed Logan by the hair and started slamming his face into the counter several times. After about three times, Logan could tell his nose was broken and a few teeth had fallen out but Patton didn’t stop.

Logan still didn’t show any signs of weakness and at this point he would surprise himself if he had the ability to use his mouth anyway.

It goes on for hours, the lit up numbers on the stove only a blur now behind a thick sheet of red over Logan’s eyes. That was all he saw-blood. But what caught him off guard was when Patton whispered soothing phrases to him. His voice sounded nearly normal like the honey-coated tone he had before. He told Logan he knew best and he was only looking out for him.

And he told Logan that he was loved.

Finally, Logan believed him. The bloody-faced side bursted into tears and sobbed as he fell to the floor. The pain in his face only grew worse with his hiccups and attempts at sniffling so he cried out loud. Patton only stood and watched with a smile, staring at the hunched over teacher. He left after a moment, feeling bore and was off to think of the next part of his plan.

Within days, everyone was under Patton’s control. Virgil found that it was useless to use fight or flight anymore. Roman was taking several doses of antidepressants that Patton gave him and was to loopy to understand what was going on. Logan was hidden in his room in fear of the normally lighthearted side. Patton had the fun idea to assemble them all for a lovely little family picture and show the Famders that they were now perfect in every way.

Much to Patton’s displeasure, Logan and Virgil made some mistakes in the picture, not smiling wide enough. Logan’s eyes were glossed over and Virgil felt any type of pain whenever he moved his mouth in the slightest. Roman, on the other hand, didn’t focus. He was easily manipulated and did whatever he was told because it was good for him. Sometime after the picture, they made a video.

The fandom went insane after seeing everyone so unlike themselves. Logan held his head down in despair, some tears rolling down his face. Virgil was nowhere to be seen, leaving an empty and dark stairwell where he once was. Roman hardly spoke about himself, or even spoke at all. He kept his iconic pose and bright smile but everything was off about him. Patton, dear Patton, was taller and filled out compared to everyone. He smiled at his creations happily and explained to the Famders that they were a happy family.

Only after an hour of the video being posted did the theories and fanart come in waves. Patton loved how vigilant his kiddos were and how much they cared. Thomas didn’t even answer to anything anyone said to him, making his friends worry. The host was very emotional and distant and had this false sense of confidence. Patton loved every second of it.

While looking at what the Famders had created, and idea formed in his head. He wasn’t at all the best with technology, but setting up a livestream wasn’t too hard. He had everyone sit on the couch and held his knife  which made them quiver in fear. Thomas was tied up in the corner, preventing any type of movement and his mouth was gagged as well. He screamed behind the cloth and writhed around in the ropes but to no avail. Patton waited til everyone was watching and greeted them.

“Hiya Guys, Gals, and Nonbinary Pals! I thought maybe we could have a little...heart to heart!” He giggles as Logan walks into view, shirtless and his head bowed, showing off the heart shaped scar. “Doesn’t he just look adorable?! He didn’t have much of a heart, so I had to give him one. But don’t worry, Roman’s still the same prince you know and love!”

Roman joins him, posing and smiling arrogantly, but he doesn’t dare speak. It was already clear that he hardly focused on anything, just remembering to smile and hold the iconic position. It made Patton so undeniably happy! His prince was doing just as he said without faltering or hesitating in the slightest.

Patton clapped. “See? Nothing to be afraid of! And don’t you kiddos worry, Virgil won’t be troubling Thomas anymore. Come show them what you got for being mean to Roman, Virgil!” Virgil shuffled into the screen as well, trying to hide his face as much as he could. His scars were swollen and ugly due to the amount of times he tried to rip them out or speak.

“Aren’t they just so sweet? Don’t you just love us so much? As long as you keep the fanart going, they’ll stay alive! You want that don’t you? Welp! Better get to work! Lolo’s chest still looks a little plain don’t you think?” The father side’s eyes darkened. The stream ends with a single wink and him holding the steel knife.

The whole fandom was left distraught, most of them thinking it was just a joke. Patton would never do that would he? Sweet, lovable, Patton wouldn’t harm anyone. If they only knew what happened behind the camera.

After his little finish, he looked at Logan evilly, raising the knife higher. The other tried to run but he was in no way faster than Patton anymore with how much pain he was in and he couldn’t hardly see anything anyway.

Patton had already pinned Logan to the floor and started carving children’s doodles and cute little symbols into his chest.

The said side screamed in agony and tried desperately to get Patton to stop through tears. Thomas stared in horror as did the others. After a few minutes of doing so, he moved onto Roman who faltered a little. He was shocked and his legs didn’t move no matter how much he mentally told them to. He was pulled to the floor; in seconds the knife was pierced through his skin causing him to scream just as loud-if not louder-than Logan did.

He tried scrambling away but all the color drained from his face and the blood from his body. The prince was left a bloody mess on the floor, unable to move. He coughed and blood splurted from his mouth, only scaring Thomas more than he already was. The host was sobbing, begging from behind the gag for Patton to stop hurting them but it was no use.  

Finally, it was Virgil’s turn. The psychotic side conjured a needle and thread and laughed. Tugging him by the jacket, he kept Virgil on the floor with his knees. He used the knife to carve a permanent smile into his face. Virgil whimpered and yelped, but mostly due to the betrayal and sadness he felt. The physical pain was near nothing he felt inside his head and heart.

His eye was forcefully sewed shut, leaving it swollen and bloody. He even was given a few lashings with the blade as a punishment. Like the other two, his face was drained from color and he was a bloody mess on the floor. The anxious trait still laid on his back even after Patton stood. None of them were able to stand by the end of all of it.

Patton admired his work. He smiled at the scene of his kiddos being punished so they can behave. It was music to his ears to hear them all scream when he dragged the sharp knife down their bodies.

But Patton, poor Patton, had missed someone.

He set everyone up while they all groaned in pain. They sat in a small circle, Thomas included-all tied up much to their dismay. Patton conjured a book and in the sweetest voice he could muster, he read aloud to all of them. It wasn’t at all enjoyable for them; it would be very possible in the next few minutes that one of them could fall unconscious and even die.

Little did that lovable father-like side know, a certain liar appeared behind him. A soft gasp escaped his lips when he saw the four in the horrid conditions they were in. This new burning rage filled him immediately. Patton hardly even noticed the soft footsteps walking up behind him until a harsh hand grabbed his shoulder.

The said side was thrown to the wall and held flat against it. Deceit’s yellow eye seemingly glowed under the seething fury he felt. He put a hand to Patton’s throat as if to intimidate him, but even then he considered choking the moral trait.

“What have you done?!” he growled. Patton hardly seemed phased.

“I fixed them,” he stated simply. Deceit figured out quickly that confronting Patton wouldn’t work. It would be impossible to convince him that what he did was faulty. Right then and there he knew he would make a tough decision.

Taking him by the hair and restraining his arms, Deceit took Patton to the Unconscious part of the mind. He locked the said side away where nobody would dare to look. It was dark, gloomy, and filled with nightmarish creatures of all kinds. Patton was put in a cave like cell guarded by a spider-like beast. Deceit knew that if he ever even came to his senses, he would be terrified by the monstrosities down there.

With a final goodbye, Deceit left. Next, he shapeshifts into the animated and happy father. He wasn’t sure what he could do now to help; all he knew was that he was Morality-at least until the others realize that it’s him. It was only now he went to aid the Light Sides and good god, at least he had his work cut out for him. Within seconds, he appears in the living room making them all panic for moment.

He unties them all, removing the gags and bondage all while smiling softly. Virgil instantly sees through the disguise, hardly minding at all. All he cared for was that they were now safe, especially from Patton. He hesitantly touched the stitches on his mouth, letting waterfalls spill over his bloody cheeks. It made it seem as if he was crying the red liquid instead of the salty tears.  

Logan, on the other hand, scrambles away instantly. He was still frightened to death of what had happened. The fresh cuts and open scars were aching and it was a wonder that he could move at all.         

  “Come on Lolo, I’m not gonna hurt you,” Deceit said in Patton’s soft voice,”not anymore.” He opened his arms comfortingly saying,”Hug?”

Logan only stuttered.

 “Y-You made m-me-” he cut himself off. The look in Patton’s eyes-it wasn’t something quite Patton. He took the hug and instantly he relaxed into it, letting a few tears fall. God, it felt so good to feel something that wasn’t torture. It was so warm and genuine and the first piece of genuine affection he’s had in days.

Roman was a bit harder. It would take everything for him to get back to what he was. That was why ‘Patton’ led him to the imagination where a dragon terrorized a village. Deceit gave him his sword saying,”Go.”

With a few slashes and hits, Roman regained his color. It wasn’t the best choice to fight while still injured but the adrenaline was all he needed to beat the winged beast. Even within the haze of his mind, his instincts to conquer and save the village rose and with a blink of his eyes, he grinned a real smile. With a final blow, the dragon fell to the ground and the town cheered, showering him in compliments and affection. Deceit, or ‘Patton’ stood off the the side with a loving smile, watching Roman feel so genuinely happy again. 

And at last it was time to leave.

However, his thoughts were paused with a cold shudder. The imagination had suddenly gotten much cooler. What could’ve caused this?

He rushed back into the living room and Thomas was panicking. Logan and Virgil were sobbing, mumbling several apologies to each other. Deceit watched as Roman appeared, suddenly distraught again; he was crying.

And at that moment Deceit knew something was coming. Something not Light or Dark. Something Immoral….

[frankly-art]

Frankly-Art’s Top 10 Video Games of 2018

Also available to read on my deviantArt!

With every New Year comes another year’s worth of video games to look forward to, and 2019 promise to be a good one in that regard: the release of Kingdom Hearts III is only days away, Piranha Plant and Joker are certain to be innovative and entertaining additions to the Smash Ultimate roster, Animal Crossing is coming to the Switch… and those mark only a small fraction of the many things 2019 has in store for us in terms of gaming. Amid all of this hype, I got to thinking about the varied gameplay experiences I had over the past year; so, I figured this would be as good an opportunity as any for me to reflect on them with a bit of a critical eye and definitively rank each of the video games I managed to get to during 2018!

Keep in mind while reading that, even though this is a list featuring games I played in 2018, many of these games were ones released in years past that I never got around to until last year—so, if you were expecting a list of the top 10 games that were released in 2018, I’m afraid you’ll have to look elsewhere (but not until after you read my oh-so-important list first! I crave validation!); expect a healthy mix of new and old titles in the list below. Additionally, this list will rank downloadable content (DLC) separately from standalone titles, as I don’t find it fair to compare a DLC add-on to a fully-fledged game. I’ll be weighing the score of each DLC depending on how well it improves and expands upon the narrative and gameplay of its original game.

Without further ado (and with no better means of transitioning from this introduction to the list itself than to use a somewhat tired expression in the realm of video games), let’s-a go! (Please forgive me.)

-SPOILER WARNING IN EFFECT-

Favorite Characters: Revali, Urbosa, Kass Favorite Tracks: Monk Maz Koshia (all phases)

It might come as somewhat of a shock that a game with “Breath of the Wild” in its title would rank lowest on my list, but hear me out: no matter how much fun it was to be able to return to Hyrule in this DLC expansion, in my opinion, Champions’ Ballad just felt like more of the same of what we got in the main game.

Despite the nigh perfection that was Breath of the Wild, I have to agree with critics who said that the lack of aesthetic variation between segments of dungeon crawling and puzzle solving was a monotonous bore when compared to the varied themes and aesthetics of the dungeons in Zelda games past, and Champions’ Ballad did nothing to vary the atmosphere in its new shrines and dungeon from those of the main game. This disappointment was compounded with the fact that Champions’ Ballad added no new weapons to your arsenal (aside from a risky-to-use fork that functioned virtually like every other sword in the game) to allow for new types of puzzle solving or exploration. The unicorn motorcycle was certainly a cool reward for completing the DLC (the fact that I got to write the words “unicorn” and “motorcycle” next to each other is reward enough), but I had very little use for it since I’d already combed through the entirety of Hyrule during my first playthrough of the game. I simply believe it would have been nice for Champions’ Ballad to have given players something a little fresher to explore, even if it were just an aesthetic change of scenery.

I had also hoped that Champions’ Ballad might have expanded on the lore sprinkled throughout Hyrule and, even though we learned more about the four champions, I was a little let down that they didn’t really expand on anything else (Why can’t I climb to the top of Mount Agaat? Why does the entirety of the Akkala region fill me with a confusing sense of serene dread?? What the hell happened at the Typhlo Ruins???) I appreciate that, by not explaining everything, Nintendo give players the chance to interpret these things for themselves, but, when compared to the lore provided in previous Zelda games, I feel as though Champions’ Ballad fell short in fleshing out the history of this ruined Hyrule.

Favorite Characters: Prompto, Ignis Favorite Tracks: A Retainer’s Resolve, Apocalypsis Magnatus

Given how much of a beautiful mess Final Fantasy XV was upon its initial release, it’s certainly a consolation to the main game to see how well Square Enix supplemented its (rather disjointed) story and expanded upon its (frankly, lacking) gameplay through its various DLC expansion chapters featuring Noctis’ loyal Chocobros. And while I may not love Ignis quite as much as other chocobros like Prompto or Noctis, Episode Ignis was definitely an engaging and welcome addition to the enigma that is the Final Fantasy XV.

Particular highlights of Episode Ignis include its soundtrack, which features a heroic leitmotif for Ignis that really underscores the dire circumstances he and his teammates find themselves in during this segment of the story, and its addition of gameplay modes (Motorboat Simulator 2018 being one of them) are a welcome change of pace to the somewhat rudimentary battle and exploration systems found in the main game. However, a point of contention I have with Episode Ignis is with its narrative: while I appreciate that this DLC chapter finally explains how Ignis becomes blind, its multiple endings completely undermine the storyline of the main game itself. Does Ignis’ sacrifice save Noctis from having to make a sacrifice of his own in order to save the world? Does Ignis regain his sight after Noctis defeats Ardyn? Do Noctis and Luna finally realize that they’d be better off with other people (as it’s obvious that Noctis is already too preoccupied with his three boyfriends to make room for anyone else)? I need answers, Square!

Favorite Characters: Elizabeth, Atlas/Frank Fontaine Favorite Tracks: Patsy Cline – She’s Got You, Johnny Mathis – Wonderful! Wonderful!

I claimed to be a fan of the BioShock series for so long, even though I’d only ever played the first game in the series until the summer of 2017 when I finally bought a PS4 and, with it, the BioShock Collection. Now, I can call myself a fan of the series without reservation, having explored and discovered all that Rapture and Columbia have to offer. To me, BioShock Infinite: Burial at Sea Episodes 1 & 2 are a love letter to the entire series itself, featuring elements from the three main-series games and tying together each of their narratives (save for maybe BioShock 2, which is absolutely criminal, considering 2 is my favorite game in the series) in a way that, while forced in some aspects, felt like Ken Levine actually cared about clearing up some of the more confusing questions that remained at the end of BioShock: Infinite.

Burial at Sea really came into itself during Episode 2, where gameplay was switched up to feature more fleshed-out stealth mechanics that made sneaking around Rapture and Columbia both exhilarating and terrifying. It was also refreshing to be able to finally take control of Elizabeth, one of the most iconic characters of the series after the Big Daddies of BioShocks 1 and 2, and learn more of her own personal motivations and desires as she maneuvers through hostile environments. As I already mentioned briefly, I know some took issue with the way Burial at Sea wove the first two BioShock games together with the third, but, considering the mess that was made when BioShock Infinite introduced multiverse science into its mythos (and the narrative mess that Infinite was in general—I took great issue with the way they framed the oppressed populations of Columbia as “just as bad” as the ruling populations simply because they used violence to, you know, try and liberate themselves from their oppression), I feel that Burial at Sea did the best job it could considering that the setting of Infinite differed so greatly from that of the first two games.

Also, fun fact: I studied this game as a part of my Master’s Project and played it through a total of three times: once in English and twice in French! Isn’t academia weird?

Favorite Characters: Rando, Buddy, Vega Van Dam Favorite Tracks: 666 Kill Chop Deluxe, He’s My Dad, Brokentooth March

Anyone who reads TV Tropes is likely familiar with the trope “Gameplay and Story Segregation” and its less-frequent counterpart, “Gameplay and Story Integration”. In the case of LISA: The Joyful, this DLC game (which could practically be its own standalone title if it weren’t for the fact Steam labels it as “DLC” and won’t let you play it without first purchasing LISA: The Painful) absolutely excels in the latter and completely subverts the gameplay mechanics and narrative structure of the base game, and this can all be attributed to the way both games focus on your use of the cure-all drug that makes you feel nothing: Joy.

Indeed, where LISA: The Painful makes you question your use of the drug Joy, LISA: The Joyful (Joyful) is nigh impossible to complete without taking it in nearly every battle after you’re left to your own devices when the muscle of your party abandons you. As anyone who’s played the LISA trilogy will know, Joy is a dangerous substance, mutating its addicts and twisting the minds of anyone who uses it, and that Joy is an integral piece of the trilogy’s social and philosophical commentary on the freedom and restriction of choice, the commitment and devotion one carries for a person or cause, and the inherent, inevitable grey area of any and all actions one may take. Despite these themes, LISA: The Joyful is far from a demoralizing experience: if anything, the way the game simulates the feeling of being backed into a corner and the refusal to give up despite the odds only affirms whatever moral code by which you may already live, or is at least an opportunity to feel relief that you yourself aren’t forced to make such drastic decisions for your own survivability and freedom.

That’s it for the DLC games I played in 2018; now, the real fun begins! Brace yourself for my list of the top standalone titles I played last year!

Favorite Characters: Katie

This game was recommended to me by a friend, and, as much as I wanted to enjoy it, this game wound up being my lowlight of 2018, with its simplistic, seemingly rudimentary gameplay and conspicuous lack of any compelling narrative. Put bluntly, this game was like a forgettable rendition of Animal Crossing, only without any cute animal neighbors to run errands for. The game’s environment threatened absolutely no danger to your player character, yet still didn’t offer any engaging or challenging puzzles to solve to make up for this lack of danger (most “puzzles” involved figuring out how to get to a particular point on the map… and that was it). Despite this being an open-world game that offered endless opportunities for customization, I found myself hurrying to complete the game’s main (5-hour) campaign so I could feel justified to move on to other gaming experiences. The most unfortunate part of this to me is that I know there’s still more to the game’s world for me to explore, but I’m in no way compelled to do so.

In all fairness, though, I think that I’m a little older than the target demographic this game was aiming for. This game was never meant to be challenging or stressful, it was made to be a relaxing escape for anyone looking to pass the time exploring and discovering a beautifully modeled and brightly colored world. This game also wins serious points for inclusivity, especially considering the age group this game was most likely made for; my fondest memory of this game is of a quest where a woman requests that you find her the ingredients to make a potion that stimulates beard growth because she wants to grow a beard of her own, and not once during this campaign is she ridiculed or belittled for wanting one. Since Yonder seems to be a game for kids, I believe quests such as this are an excellent step to socializing them into a world that’s less judgmental and more receptive to other people. So, despite  my earlier critiques of this game, Yonder would be a great game to consider if you’re looking for a low-key and off-beat (and all-human) alternative to Animal Crossing.

Favorite Veteran Fighters: Peach, Zelda, Zero Suit Samus Favorite Newcomers: Daisy, Ridley, Richter Favorite Stages: Fountain of Dreams, Fourside, Hyrule Temple Favorite Tracks: All-Star Rest Area (Melee), Destroyed Skyworld, Athletic (Yoshi’s Island)

We all knew another installment in the Smash series was coming ever since the Switch was first announced back in March of 2017. In fact, you might even say that the quality of each console’s iteration of Smash reflects the quality of the console itself, with Melee demonstrating the power and potential of the GameCube, Brawl being a gimmicky romp on an equally gimmicky console, and Wii U/3DS (what a title, right?) completely failing to capture player interest for longer than a few rounds of Smash (the Wii U era feels like a fever dream to me at this point). It’s a letdown, then, that with the Switch being such a commercial and technical success, Smash Ultimate seems somewhat of a disappointment when weighed against the hype that surrounded it up until its release back in early December.

It’s true that Smash Ultimate really delivers in regard to the character roster (everyone is here!) and stage selection (almost everything is here!), but the cuts that were made to series staples like trophies, event matches, and the like, detract from Smash Ultimate becoming the be-all end-all title in the series that it could have been. Trophy mode was where I learned much about video game history and was introduced to obscure series I would have never discovered otherwise, and their replacement with spirits feels a bit cheap, especially since spirits don’t come with any kind of information to contextualize them. Event Matches were hybridized with Melee’s Adventure mode and Brawl’s Subspace Emissary, creating the “World of Light”; while the World of Light has grown on me the more that I play it, it’s somewhat discouraging to me that, by combining so many modes of Smash games past into one, there will be nothing left for me to do with the game once I reach its end.

Still, Smash Ultimate offers plenty to look forward to. I’m more-than-hyped about the additions of Piranha Plant and Joker from Persona 5 to the character roster, and I can’t wait to see who might be announced next (unless it’s another Fire Emblem character… please God [Sakurai] don’t let it be another Fire Emblem character).

Favorite Tracks: The Bridge, Touching the Stars, Up to the Nest

I could never have prepared myself for the beautiful-yet-heart-wrenching experience this game would put me through, but I’m oh-so-glad that it did. On the surface, RiME is a relaxing exploration and puzzle game that takes place in a beautifully rendered in-game world, with a brilliantly orchestrated soundtrack and a plethora of diverse landscapes to get lost in. And yet, every moment of your adventure is permeated by an inescapable sense of isolation and dread, making you ask questions like “Where is everyone?”, “Just who is that man in the red cloak?,” and, “Is he stalking me, or are I stalking him?”.

Indeed, RiME’s narrative unfolds wordlessly as you explore and leaves you to discover and interpret on your own exactly what tragedies transpired before the events of the game, tragedies of which are far more poignant and moving if you were to discover them yourself. I know I’ve put a spoiler warning in effect, but I highly recommend you play this game on your own (or at least watch a decent Let’s Play of it) if you’re curious to know what unfolds during the game’s narrative. RiME is a relatively short game, too, lasting only between 5-10 hours, so it would be an easy one to fit into your queue if you’re looking for a fun gameplay experience with a story that will haunt you for weeks and months on end after completing it.

Favorite Characters: Terry Hintz, Buzzo, Wally Favorite Tracks: Men’s Hair Club, The End is Nigh, Summer Love

Having already talked about this game’s DLC expansion of LISA: The Joyful, you’re already aware that I hold the LISA trilogy in high regard—it also means I can make this entry somewhat brief, since a lot of what I said about Joyful can also be applied to its parent title, LISA: The Painful. You see, it’s in LISA: The Painful where the conflict in Joyful begins, and where we learn more of how the world came to be so depraved after the White Flash, an extinction event that inexplicably killed all women on the planet (at least, as far as the characters in the game know). The game considers what the repercussions of such an event would be on our society (aside from dooming humanity to die off within a generation) and really explores the darkest depths of toxic masculinity to call into question the detrimental effects it has on our self-esteem, our relationships, and our will to survive. Gameplay-wise, it’s a fairly traditional JRPG, though as I mentioned with Joyful, LISA: The Painful integrates its story with its gameplay by permanently increasing (but mainly decreasing) your stats depending on whatever injuries you escape or sustain throughout your journey. All in all, LISA: The Painful is a truly harrowing experience from beginning to end, but a must-play for anyone with an interest in the more macabre aspects of human nature.

Favorite Characters: Aloy, Erend, Vanasha Favorite Tracks: Louder

You know a game’s going to be good when its title screen holds you in awe before even pressing start. Imagine a sunlit vignette over purple mountains and a glistening river, a haunting and triumphant melody underscoring it all, as the title slowly fades into view in white in the center of the screen: Horizon Zero Dawn. O.K., I’m in. This game just did so many things right as an open-world game during an era where the genre was oversaturated by mediocre games that rehashed the same tired tropes and mechanics in its gameplay and world building. Horizon Zero Dawn truly set itself apart from the crowd for a variety of reasons: its beautifully detailed setting (being a microcosmic interpretation of Western North America), its intricate combat system with a graciously forgiving learning curve, and its compelling and socially-conscious narrative all worked together to distinguish this game within the open-world genre.

What really sets this game apart most of all, though, is the game’s protagonist, Aloy: a rare female protagonist who is a breath of fresh air in a sea of male heroes, whose capabilities and intellect don’t come at the cost of her physical appearance and femininity. Aloy set an example for other game developers that female protagonists are more than viable (and are in fact, overdue) in the video games of today, and her status as a female character never felt gratuitous or shoehorned (e.g. Battlefield V’s inclusion of a female protagonist as an enlisted soldier in the British Army and serving in the line of duty during World War II). It’s difficult (read: impossible) to play Horizon Zero Dawn and not fall in love with Aloy for her wit, her strength, and her general stick-to-itiveness in the face of adversity (not to mention, she’s just really cute and knows how to work a belly shirt). With Aloy as the protagonist, you’ll never tire of adventuring through Horizon Zero Dawn’s 70-hours+ worth of gameplay as you explore the in-game world to learn just what happened to “The Old Ones” and their society all those millennia ago.

Favorite Party Members: Ryuji Sakamoto, Ann Takamaki, Makoto Niijima Favorite Confidants: Hifumi Togo, Sadayo Kawakami, Sae Niijima, Toranosuke Yoshida, Chihaya Mifune Favorite Targets/Boss Battles: Ichiryusai Madarame, Kunikazu Okumura, Leviathan, Yaldabaoth Favorite Tracks: Blooming Villain, Rivers in the Desert, A Woman, Aria of the Soul

I’ll bet no one saw this one coming! Just kidding—anyone who’s exchanged more than a few words with me since the fall of 2018 knows how much this game absolutely consumed my life over the span of, I don’t know, I think it was four months? Indeed, I wound up sinking a total of 123 hours into this game, and there’s still a loud part of me that wants to return to it to begin a New Game+ (you’ll even notice that it was too difficult for me to contain my favorite characters into one category, instead having to split them up in order to represent all of my favorites because of how much I love them all). I’m already a fan of JRPGs, so it didn’t take much for Persona 5 to win me over with its turn-based combat, but the addition of certain gameplay mechanics—like earning an extra turn for exploiting enemy weaknesses or improving your relationship with your friends outside of battle to unlock gameplay bonuses—prevent battles and exploration in Persona 5 from ever becoming stale. Indeed, Persona 5 was truly a masterpiece from start to finish and an experience that I never wanted to end.

Frankly, any drawbacks I could mention about this game feel almost nitpicky, like the way the status ailment “Envy” is represented during the final boss fight by the color indigo instead of green, or how Kawakami can only manage to make me one cup of very useful, SP-restoring coffee over the course of an entire evening. Still, Persona 5 isn’t without its faults: for one, Persona 5 loses significant points for its questionable representation of LGBT groups (the camp gay men who openly harass Ryuji on multiple occasions being the most glaring example), and this isn’t helped by the queerbaiting that’s prevalent in a lot of character dialogue and relationships. Additionally, the fact that you can’t romance any of your male confidants comes across as erasive at best and homophobic at worst, especially considering that 1) all but one of your female confidants are eligible girlfriends, 2) you can two-time all of them at once if you so desire (which isn’t just disrespectful, it’s also flippantly misogynistic), and, most importantly, 3) one of this game’s main themes includes rebelling against oppressive societal norms (a theme that will resonate deeply with any LGBT+ player). Female representation in Persona 5 is also somewhat of a mixed bag: while the game features a large cast of diverse female characters, its constant and blatant objectification of Ann is not only creepy, it’s incredibly obtuse considering the sexual harassment and abuse she suffers by one of her teachers during the game’s first story arc. Fortunately, each of these drawbacks is easy enough to ignore when discussing the game as a whole, but I hope Atlus improves upon them in future installments: considering how incredible an experience Persona 5 was, imagine how much more incredible Persona 6 could be if these issues were fixed!

So that’s it for my top 10 games of 2018. What are your thoughts? Do you agree or disagree with any of my commentary? What were some favorite games you played during 2018? I’d love to hear your responses and start a discussion, so please, leave your comments in the notes!

[caroninne78-blog]

Lies You've Been Told About Senior Dating

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[urwarriorangel]

‘how could i not be?’ (pietro maximoff)

hello angels! i’m so sorry this is so late and there’s very little dialogue, but i like to think it’s pretty sweet. please please please read this and let me know what you think. i enjoyed writing this. (i know not everything is accurate and i am okay with that) xoxoxo! also it’s my first pietro fic!

w: mentions of character death(ish), mentions of character injury, angst, fluff, emo, not too much dialogue (!!!no gifs are mine!!!)

“Are you tired? Rest in your head in my lap.”

Life as an Avenger isn’t as glamorous as people always think. Sure, you live in a ridiculously gorgeous tower that’s designed for you. And sure, you have superpowers/super technology. But sometimes, none of that matters. None of that matters when your date gets interrupted and you’re called in for a case and that case ends up being a setup that kills two civilians and severely injures your friends AND your date.

And that’s what happened today. You and Pietro were out on the town, finally a day off where you could be regular civilians and celebrate the most civilian holiday of all: Valentine’s Day. You two window-shopped for a bit, got some ice cream, and decided to end the night with some dinner. It was at the dinner that Tony said he got news of a Hydra facility a couple cities over. He needed every team member available, so you and Pietro put a pin on your dinner.

Turns out there wasn’t a facility per se. It was a facility on the side of a fairly busy road, and it was abandoned… and surrounded by about a hundred Hydra member, all loaded and ready to go.

It was one of the most horrifying things you’d ever seen. They didn’t even aim, they just shot everyone that came into view. You were all lucky to get out of their alive, but you couldn’t bare to call yourselves either of those two things right now.

Pietro was hit and you didn’t know if he was gonna make it. Steve was also hit. They were both in critical condition and everyone was on edge. Wanda was crying, Tony was blaming himself, Bruce was playing dad, everyone was doing something to keep themselves somehow occupied. You, you teamed up with Bucky and Vision to find out more about your Hydra buddies. You had to do something to keep your mind off Pietro. You almost lost him after Ultron and you couldn’t bare the idea of actually having to live without him.

You grew up with the Maximoff twins. After the attack, you were separated from one another and only again found each other after Tony recruited the twins. Since then, you’ve been inseparable. And Steve, he was the one who scouted you. He saw you on one of his daily runs. You were “doing some yoga” aka trying to balance your control over the elements. You owe your current life to Steve. And now, some fucker with a gun is trying to take away the two most important men in your life.

So you, Vision, and Bucky do some research on the Hydra gang that nearly took you down. You heard some chatter from your non-Avenger friends that they were step stools in Hydra’s bigger plan. They wanted to catch you all off guard while the leaders did some damage elsewhere. Before you guys could delve deeper, Coulson reached out to you.

“Coulson, what’s up? Is everything okay?” You put him on speaker and continue looking over any past info about recent Hydra members you could find.

“Well Hydra’s here. Hydra’s at the SHIELD Facility. I’ve got my Agents at every entry point, but there’s way too many of them for us to hold off. I don’t know what they want, but--”

“Well you’ve literally got an inventory of their most powerful weapons. You’ve got lists upon lists of all Hydra members past, present, and future. You’ve also got the whereabouts of underground superhumans. Stay on the line,” you run to the other room and gather every able-minded and bodied Avenger.

“Coulson’s on the line. Hydra is at the SHIELD Facility. It’s under reconstruction and at its most vulnerable. We need to get there fast. They’ve got an inventory of all the underground superhumans, so many known and unknown secret identities. They want to wipe us all out. We have to go. Coulson, try to stay hidden for as long as you can, copy all your hard drives and then wipe them completely. We’re heading your way now. Keep us all updated.”

You hang up the phone and gather Nat, Clint, Vision, Bucky, Sam, T’Challa, Thor, even Loki. You guys head over to SHIELD, leaving Bruce to keep an eye on Tony and Wanda, who are keeping an eye on Steve and Pietro.

Several hours later, you all get back safe and sound after saving Coulson’s ass, feeling a little relieved knowing that a lot of the evil that kept you up at night was now asleep for the long run.

You’re met with good news: Steve and Pietro’s operations went smoothly. They should be awake at any moment. You and Bucky switch spots with Wana and Tony, giving them some time to rest while assuring them that with the current adrenaline rush, it would be hard for you to sleep anyway.

You change out of your suit and sit next to Pietro’s bed, the day finally getting to you.

“You better not die on me, you know? Not again,” you whisper, sniffling as you think of living even a day without this crazy fast man in your life. “I basically lost you once and it was the worst time of my life.”

You look down at your hands, laughing at a memory.

“Remember when we were kids? You and I always got along better than Wanda and I did. She and I would fight and you would come to me afterwards, each time telling me that you liked me better than you liked her anyway. I always knew you were lying, but it was nice to hear. It was nice to have someone in my corner,” you give the sleeping Pietro a teary eyed smile. “I guess what I’m trying to say is that I’m in your corner, always. I love you, Pietro.”

You rest your forehead against the side of his bed, sniffling as you force yourself to think happy thoughts. You think of the first time you saw him after being separated, it was the only time you’d felt hope since you were 10. You think of the first time Pietro asked you on a date, it was the longest he’d ever stayed still. You think of the first time he kissed you, it was on the cheek and the sweetest feeling you’d ever known. You think of the first time he really kissed you, it was after Ultron and he was still tired but all he wanted was to kiss you. You think of-

“Y/N?” You hear a groggy whisper and your head shoots up, eyes landing on a tired and heavily sedated Pietro.

“Piet?” You whisper, eyes refilling with tears as you begged yourself not to cry. “You’re okay?”

“I’m here. You’re here. How could I not be?” He gives you a soft smile, a hand reaching up to wipe your tears. “Are you tired?”

You give him a sheepish smile, knowing that he’ll return the gesture.

“Rest in your head in my lap. I’ve got you.”

[rosetowersfanfic]

The Best Laid Plans of Ducks and Mutants

After another plan goes awry, Negaduck berates his team. Afterwards they pick up the pieces and get pizza.

Based on my au/reboot idea

Negaduck sat leaning back into the shadows from behind his desk, glaring at the rest of the team assembled before him.

“Well boys, does anyone here know why the heist failed? Again!” He snarled.

The Fearsome Five had planned to rob a bank that night; their leader had found a way to discreetly cut a hole in the side of the building from the alleyway right into the vault. Negaduck’s plan had required total silence to avoid notice; this had promptly gone south halfway through, as a mistake had lead to nearby security guards being alerted and the five of them having to retreat before Darkwing Duck showed up.

Negaduck eyed Megavolt. “How ‘bout you, Sparky? You remember what happened?”

Megavolt trembled, struggling to remember the plan itself, let alone how it went wrong.

“Hey, don’t pick on him! It’s not his fault we almost got caught!” Quackerjack snapped, slamming his hands onto the desk.

Negaduck leaned forward into the toymaker’s face. “True. I do believe it was because someone was laughing at his own lame jokes!”

Quackerjack scowled. “I was bored, so Mr Banana Brain told me a joke to pass the time.”

He brought out the toy in question and put on a squeaky voice. “Hey, don’t blame me, Smee! I’m not the one who can’t sit still for more than ten minutes.”

Bushroot snorted. “A real leader would’ve planned for Quackerjack’s boredom, like you should’ve last time at that museum.”

Negaduck’s eye twitched. “You wanna repeat that, Turnip Brain?” He growled.

“Now, now everyone. Experts would agree that the limited time offer on Quacky’s attention span is not easy to predict,” Liquidator offered nervously, sliding up to Negaduck’s side.

“Boss, maybe we should let him stay behind to play next time we have a quiet mission, huh?” He shrunk down until he was shorter than Negaduck and clasped his hands behind his back in hopes of appearing placating.

Negaduck rubbed his face. “Oh shuddup ya kiss up. Last I heard, the lookout is supposed to warn his team before security bust us and call for backup, instead of napping!”

He took a bag of cement out from under the desk. “Wanna explain that, ya wet noodle?”

Liquidator trembled. “I-I figured you’re amazing plan would go off without a hitch a-and, um…”

“Just drop it, Negaduck! We didn’t get captured and no one even knows it was us, quit being a jerk and go plot a better plan,” Bushroot said heatedly.

For a while, the mutated duck and inter-dimensional terrorist were engaged in a stare-off.

Eventually, Negaduck broke eye contact and jumped out of his seat.

“Ya know what, between the sniveling, the nonsense, the sucking up, and the useless criticism, I’ve just about had with you morons for the night.”

With that, Negaduck stomped off to his private rooms.

Bushroot huffed. “Licks’, you need to start standing up to Negadork. Your like a doormat around him.”

Liquidator pouted. “The survey shows I’m not the only one scared of the boss.”

He pointed to Megavolt, currently in a fetal position on the floor. Quackerjack was sat beside him, petting his head gently.

“Oh yeah, well you still haven’t explained why you fell asleep,” Quackerjack retorted.

Megavolt blinked. “Hey, yeah! If you’d seen those guards in time, Quacky coulda sorted them out before he started laughing! Now Negaduck’s mad and it’s all your fault!” He yelled, now remembering what happened.

Quackerjack frowned. “That’s not what I meant, Sparky.” The toymaker didn’t like when his friends fought and blamed each other. “It’s probably Negaduck’s fault anyway.” Everyone turning against one another just gave him more power.

Bushroot frowned. “Although, I have to ask. Why did you fall asleep? You usually don’t need it.”

Liquidator frowned. “Experts agree that three days straight on stakeout makes even the most energetic worker a bit tired,” he answered, his voice weary.

Bushroot clenched his fists. For the heist, everyone had been assigned different roles; Quackerjack and Megavolt built the machine to cut into the vault, Negaduck would use it, and Brushroot would grab the cash. Liquidator had been ordered to stakeout the bank to learn the security guards’ patterns, and on the night of the heist he would be on lookout. It was, however, a little known fact that while Liquidator didn’t need as much sleep as a mortal would, he was still a living being who needed his rest. Normally, the water dog took power naps every so often to function poperly, but by the sounds of things Negaduck hadn’t even allowed that.

“See Megsy, it all goes back to Negadweeb. He made Licky exhausted and let me get bored.” Quackerjack tugged at his hat and whined. “That meanie always ruins everything! Why do we even work for him anyways?!”

Bushroot took a deep breath. “Because like it or not, Negaduck’s the only one with any chance of taking down Negadrip. We need him.”

Everyone looked at the floor sullenly as the tension settled on them like lead. As the caped crusader’s counterpart, Negaduck was the only one who could possibly defeat him, alongside the other most dangerous criminals in St. Canard. He needed them, and they needed him, leading to an unfortunate alliance to the short-tempered criminal.

On the other hand, the four of them had become good friends almost immediately, so they at least had each other to help cope with their leader.

Quackerjack suddenly bounced up onto his feet. “Ugh, I hate it when everyone gets all mopey! Who wants pizza?!”

The others couldn’t help but grin. Quackerjack’s answer to all of life’s woes usually involved toys and food. He was also the only one who could lift everyone’s mood after a meeting with Negaduck.

“Alright, let’s get pizza,” Bushroot agreed. “We can go to my place and hang out.”

“Why can’t we go to my hideout?” Quackerjack and Megavolt said in unison.

“Because I’m not dealing with light bulbs or toys everywhere and I wanna check on my plants,” Bushroot answered.

Liquidator slung his arm around Bushroot’s shoulders. “Then let’s go, go, go!”

After a pit stop at a small pizzeria that served decent food and didn’t question when super villains and heroes alike dropped by - no matter how beaten up they sometimes were when they arrived - the four headed over to Bushroot’s greenhouse.

Everyone settled around the table with three boxes of pizza. Reggie couldn’t actually eat normal food anymore so after tending to his plants he settled down with his roots in a box of soil; Bud could eat, but this involved dissolving the food around where his stomach once was, so he had to sit with the table up to his chest so he wouldn’t gross out Elmo, and to avoid Jack poking at him trying to see how it worked.

“Seriously, Buddy. Why didn’t you tell Negadork you needed rest? Or just come to me about it, I could’ve sorted it out,” Reggie sighed.

Bud rubbed his shoulders. “It pays not to start fights with the boss,” he answered awkwardly.

Reggie rolled his eyes. “You’re a water elemental. You know what kind of power you have, so use it! Make a point. Or at least don’t let yourself be pushed around if you won’t actually fight back, just make the point that you can.”

Reggie knew all about dealing with bullies and bad bosses of course. Once upon a time he had let himself get pushed around and had eventually had his whole world pulled out from under him. As a mutant, however, Reginald Bushroot hardly knew the meaning of the word fear.

Bud was of the same opinion, and had also put on a confident front in his old life; but to get to where he had been he’d kissed up to his old bosses to get on top, now those instincts came back whenever he saw Negaduck. Also, the guy just plain scared him.

“Aw, let ‘im be Reggie, we can’t all be angry at everything all the time like you. Frankly it just sounds exhausting,” Jack said.

Reggie rolled his eyes. “Like you can talk about being exhausting, Jack, and stop playing with your food.”

Jack looked up from his attempts to make faces on his pizza slice with the toppings.

“Ya know, Reg, all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy,” he grinned.

Everyone else groaned at the bad joke.

“Oh please, that one was hilarious and you all know it.”

“I just wish he wouldn’t push us around like that,” Elmo said, staring at his pizza forlornly. “I mean, we’re not the only ones who screw up our plans,” he stopped and frowned, “I think. He’s messed up some too, right?”

Jack nodded and patted his friend’s shoulder. “Absolutely. Like that time he got so mad he set off the laser cannon early before Dripwing got anywhere near it and we got our butts kicked before it could recharge.”

“Was that the time we held the mayor for ransom, or the time we took over the harbour?”

“I think those were the same plan, we kept the mayor in the brig on that big ship.”

Soon the evening turned to complaining about Negaduck and the various ways he’d ruined his own plans, or had just generally upset anyone in the group.

“Ya know what?!” Jack announced, bagning his fist on the table. “We should all just boot Negadork outta the team. We keep losing with him anyway, he hasn’t beaten Dripwing, and he’s a big old meanie!”

Elmo shook his head frantically. “Not a chance, he’d kill us.”

Bud nodded in agreement. “Experts agree that Negaduck would wipe out a riot without a second thought.”

“Oh please, if he can’t take out Darkwing, what chance does he have against three mutants and Jack,” Reggie said.

“Just cause he can’t beat Darkwing, doesn’t mean Negaduck is weak,” Elmo explained. “And besides, Darkwing never actually wants to hurt us, Negaduck wouldn’t hold back.”

Everyone sighed. It was true, whilst the caped crusader was certainly the bane of their existence, no one could say he didn’t care about their welfare, often trying to detain the four of them as quickly and painlessly as possible. His little sidekick, Quiverwing Quack, was a bit of a wild card in that regard; but on the most part she followed in her mentor’s footsteps to help others as much as possible.

Negaduck, on the other hand, revelled in violence and mayhem. As much as he needed the Fearsome Five’s help, as Darkwing was always just barely a step ahead of him, he was also just as capable of dealing with them as his counterpart, and far more willing to tear each of them to pieces, molecule by molecule, should they rise up.

Jack squirmed in his seat. “Ugh, everyone’s getting all depressed again! Let’s go watch a movie.”

They couldn’t agree more, wanting to be rid of the hopeless feelings clogging their thoughts, at least temporarily. Soon, Reggie had set up his stolen TV and found a movie. The three of them squeezed onto his stolen sofa, with Bud resting happily in a paddling pool.

A few hours later everyone was out cold in the dim light of the TV, the credits rolling; Jack and Elmo leaned against each other, Reggie was draped over the arm of the sofa as close to Bud as he could be without actually being in the paddling pool, and Bud relaxed his dog-like form to simply be a puddle for the night. For a little while, they just let each other feel safe.

[coolseanobuseng]

New Post has been published on https://legitlover.com/the-very-best-advice-to-get-an-ex-back-in-2021/

The Very Best Advice To Get An Ex Back In 2021

This is the year you get your ex back only if you read this very best advice to get an ex back in 2021..lol

I’m sure I do not need to tell you that getting your ex back has never been more important.

Feel in one’s bones that it won’t be simple, but absolutely nothing worth doing ever is, right?

I’ll be including a couple of brand new techniques that I’ve never ever publicly shared previously. So check out to the end if you wish to hear all of my juiciest ex back methods and suggestions.

# 1– Don’t rush the process or “force it”.

The Very Best Advice To Get An Ex Back In 2021 Folks, it doesn’t get anymore standard than this, but it also doesn’t get a lot more CRITICAL than this, either.

Here’s the thing: the majority of people in your situation– when you’re dealing with the possibility of the person you love slipping out of your life permanently– are feeling desperate. And I totally understand that; it’s a natural response after you’ve been dumped or gone through a tough break up. You frantically wish to do SOMETHING … ANYTHING … to get your ex to alter their mind and take you back. But, the issue is … ACTING on that desperation or those post-breakup feelings is almost ALWAYS a bad idea. You CAN NOT rush the procedure of changing your ex’s mind about separating. You can NOT show ANY sort of desperation at all, either. And not simply during the early phases, however throughout the entire process.

Desperation is an attraction killer. Trust me on this, I’ve seen many of my clients make this error. Despite my best shots to talk them out of it … If you appear too desperate, if you try to push your ex by contacting them too frequently or begging and pleading with them … it’s just going to make your scenario WORSE.

Take a step back for a minute and think about things from your ex’s point of view. Would you be brought in to an ex who won’t stop bothering you? Would you be brought in to somebody who seems to have absolutely nothing else going on their life? Other than chasing after you?

Would you be basically most likely to want to take someone back? If they pled and pleaded and attempted to talk you into providing another opportunity?

Undoubtedly, the response is no to all of those questions. By attempting to rush the process … by attempting to reach out to your ex often, by trying to talk them into offering your relationship another try … you’re only pressing them further away. Just keep reading The Very Best Advice To Get An Ex Back In 2021.

This is something you need to keep in mind throughout the entire process of winning back your ex. Which is why I’ve made it the extremely first suggestion in this video. Never ever, ever get too excited or too excited around your ex. Never ever force things or attempt to hurry it.

# 2– Be realistic about your opportunities of getting them back.

Look, I’ve stated this sometimes prior to in my previous videos. Unfortunately, not every relationship can or need to be restored. In some cases, things might be so broken that it’s simply not possible to ever realistically have a chance at getting back together. I know that sucks to hear, but it’s the truth. Numerous relationships can and ought to be revived. However in some cases it’s just not realistic or wise to even attempt.

# 3– Don’t underestimate the power of No Contact.

The Very Best Advice To Get An Ex Back In 2021 Ah yes, No Contact … I know you’ve already heard about this technique often times previously. And do you know why this technique is something that I suggest so frequently? Because it WORKS. It works EXTREMELY well in the huge bulk of separation situations.

If you do not want to take my word for it,  here’s a couple of examples:

Why No Contact Is So Powerful

Initially, it’s due to the fact that this method basically “shocks” your ex into discovering what life resembles without you. Instead of slowly fading out of your ex’s life, you’re forcing them to experience it cold turkey.

They won’t have the ability to just call you and chat whenever they miss you. And they won’t have that sensation of “comfort” knowing that you’re still around at any time they want to talk or hang out. It’s critical that you give your ex that kind of a “shock” treatment instead of letting them slowly get used to life without you.

No Contact is the reverse of what your ex is expecting you to do. The majority of people, since it’s the natural response after a break up, tend to cling to their ex for as long as possible after separating. They reach out regularly, they attempt to “remain good friends”. And they just generally wind up functioning as an emotional discarding ground for their ex.

By doing the opposite of what your ex is expecting you to do, you’re taking control of the situation and shifting the “balance of power” in your favour. Now, when you take part in a period of No Contact, you have the power to choose when your ex gets to talk with you or socialize with you.

They’re all of a sudden dealing with a circumstance they didn’t expect when they planned to separate.

Third, it offers your ex time to let go of negative memories and emotions. As I’ve mentioned in other videos formerly, all humans have a natural tendency to forget bad memories and release unfavorable thoughts and feelings after a particular time period.

A natural coping system that’s progressed over thousands of years of human evolution. We can’t dwell on negatives for long, or else we’ll spend our lives in a state of anxiety.

So, utilize that to your advantage by providing your ex time to start forgetting about the negative aspects of your relationship. This will, given time, take place by itself, without you needing to do anything other than participate in a duration of No Contact.

Research studies have actually shown this will “peak” around one month after the break up. So by utilizing a 30-day No Contact duration, you’re allowing adequate time for those negative emotions and memories to fade. Into the back of your ex’s mind. I like to say that this is essentially like re-setting your ex’s brain to an “psychological neutral” state.

Furthermore, another benefit to No Contact is that it offers you time to “relax” and re-set your own feelings.

You definitely do not wish to be acting upon emotion when you talk with your ex. And you typically can’t believe directly during the early stages after a break up … so, by neglecting your ex for a few weeks, you put yourself back into a much better mindset.

By the end of the No Contact duration, you’ll be far less most likely to act desperate or state something to your ex that may hurt your possibilities or push them away unintentionally.

No Contact permits you some time to focus on yourself. During No Contact– which I’ve recently begun to call “Dynamic No Contact” to highlight the important self-improvement aspect– you need to be keeping busy, meeting new buddies, and living an intriguing, amazing life.

This will make you a more intriguing, more enticing person to your ex when you do start talking with them once again. And it will put you in a better position to re-attract them once the No Contact duration is over.

# 4– Spend as much time as possible with loved ones.

OK, I know what you’re thinking … how the hell is socializing with my friends and household going to assist me get my ex back? Well, hear me out … due to the fact that this is in fact something that I’ve begun to suggest increasingly more to my clients, since I’ve come to see how important this really is.

Of all, cooling with friends and family is usually enjoyable. It’s a great way to keep your mind off your ex and off the separation, and live in the minute. This is specifically true if you prevent speaking about your ex when you’re with friends. And instead just have a good time hanging out.

Second of all, you’ll quickly discover that socializing with family and friends can be a powerful tool for re-building your own self-confidence and self-esteem. Your friends and family like you– at least, I hope they do– and socializing with individuals that enjoy your company is a fantastic ego boost.

It will make you feel more confident in yourself. And assist you realize that you’re a remarkable catch for anybody of the opposite sex … Including your ex, who would be insane to let someone as favored as you go out of their life.

This is also a fun time to re-connect with old buddies that you perhaps have not talked with much recently.

If there’s someone you used to socialize with regularly that you’ve recently fallen out of touch with, connect and stimulate up a conversation.

How’s it going, bro? Very long time no see.

Restore that old relationship, or attempt to make brand-new good friends. Once again, this is a confidence-booster, but it’s also a method to come up with new things to talk with your ex about when you see them or begin talking to them again … you can tell them about how you just recently saw an old buddy, speak about the strategies you’ve made with this old pal, and so on.

Please take my word on this one … being around other individuals in social settings– whether that’s re-connecting with old buddies or just hanging out with family regularly– is going to assist your own mindset, and enhance your possibilities of returning together with your ex.

# 5– When talking with your ex, focus on making the discussion ENJOYABLE for them.

The Very Best Advice To Get An Ex Back In 2021 This is an error that I see my customers and followers make CONSTANTLY. You’ve utilized a duration of No Contact, and start to open the lines of interaction with your ex again. You’re exchanging text or phone calls, and then eventually hanging out with your ex in person.

You want them to take you back … So you try to discuss the relationship. You re-hash old drama or differences from when you were still together.

Perhaps you’re just doing this to attempt and explain to your ex how you’ve changed given that the breakup. Or how things will be different if you get back together. But, this kind of technique is 100% ensured to destroy your possibilities.

Trust me, men … if you want your ex back, you require to make EVERY conversation and hang-out session with them ENJOYABLE. You want your ex to end a discussion thinking to themselves, “well, that was enjoyable” … you desire your texts to make your ex smile or laugh when they read them.

What you DO NOT desire … under any scenarios … is to advise your ex of the issues that plagued your old relationship. You DO NOT desire them to end a conversation thinking to themselves, “ugh, more drama again”. You desire your ex to enjoy when they see you or speak with you, not be advised of old issues or disputes from the past. Don’t ever, ever try to bring up “serious relationship subjects” with your ex until you’re fully back together … keep it light, enjoyable, and satisfying for your ex.

# 6– NEVER show any jealousy around your ex.

This ties in to my previous suggestion, and it’s just as crucial. You do not ever, EVER wish to outwardly display any kind of jealousy around your ex.

I know it’s agonizing and aggravating to hear rumours that your ex may have gone on a date with somebody brand-new. And I understand you desperately wish to ask them about it … however DON’T. Imitate you don’t give a flying f*&@ about your ex’s love life since the breakup.

Don’t give ANY sense that you’re jealous about anything. Even if you’re feeling the total reverse on the within … rather, pretend you don’t care at all about who your ex is seeing or what they’re doing with their spare time.

As I discussed in the past, prevent drama and keep things enjoyable for your ex. Jealousy isn’t enjoyable, and it definitely isn’t appealing. So do your absolute finest to never reveal any kind of jealousy around your ex.

# 7– Be ready to play some safe mind games on your ex.

The Very Best Advice To Get An Ex Back In 2021 Now I’m not talking about anything actually outright here people. When I state “mind video games”, I do not mean lying to your ex or manipulating them in some way. I just indicate that it can be extremely helpful to utilize basic human psychology to your benefit in order to win your ex back. I’ll offer you 2 examples:

Example one … texting. When you get a text from your ex out of the blue, wait an hour or more prior to you reply.

Keep in mind: you’re playing the role of a busy, positive person who is ready to proceed. So, if you’re prepared to wait a while before replying to your ex’s texts, it will make them question what you were doing and unconsciously presume that you’re out doing interesting things and living life without them.

Also related to texting: be the one to end conversations. Let your ex send the last message in a back-and-forth texting exchange.

Once again, this isn’t actually sly or unethical stuff. You’re simply making a small effort to silently be the one to end most conversations with your ex. It’s a power play of sorts, where you’re asserting your own worth as a person and your confidence with life in general. This is appealing behaviour for your ex. And will subtly and subconsciously shift the way they think of you in a positive way.

The second example … my Covert Jealousy strategy. I yap about this method in the full tutorial video on my site.

Covert Jealousy permits you to subtly hint to your ex that you might be dating once again. Even if you’re not actually doing so yet … in a safe and effective way.

It puts your ex under some pressure to decide if they’re sure about the breakup. And can frequently be enough by itself to make your ex choose to request for a second chance.

# 8– Focus only on things within your control.

This one is pretty self-explanatory. However you ought to try your outright best to avoid worrying about things that are out of your control.

Did you hear a rumour your ex has been dating somebody brand-new? Well, there’s nothing you can do to change that, so it’s out of your control. And therefore it’s unworthy worrying about, or even considering.

Worried that your ex isn’t posting sad lyrics and quotes on social networks after your break up? Anxious that might suggest they’re not missing you and have currently carried on?

Well, that’s just not a beneficial train of thought. It’s out of your control. You can’t alter how they’re feeling or precisely read into what it suggests that they’re not posting break up quotes on social networks. That implies it’s not worth worrying about. So push it out of your mind and concentrate on things you CAN control.

The Very Best Advice To Get An Ex Back In 2021

# 09– Have faith in proven strategies and persevere.

OK, my final idea today is a very crucial one. Given that you’re reading this today, I’m assuming you’re doing your research. You’re learning how to get a 2nd chance with your ex by looking into online.

That’s fantastic, and I praise you for acting to ensure you do things correctly to optimize your opportunities. And you’ll get a great deal of very savvy, extremely effective guidance and pointers from breakup coaches like myself. Not all of the stuff you’ll read online is proper or credible. However much of it is excellent guidance that will really assist you out.

And you can definitely rely on the techniques and strategies that I teach in my Ex Factor program,

… while finding out and researching’s fantastic, you NEED to actually APPLY these methods in order for them to actually work. You can’t just learn all about how effective the No Contact strategy is, and then only apply it for 5 days before you quit and begin spamming your ex.

No Contact doesn’t work if you just do it for 5 days. And the very same holds true for the majority of what I teach. You require to actually use what you find out in short articles like this one. Precisely the method I describe, in order for it to be genuinely effective.

If you do not have the self-discipline to stick with it and believe the tested strategies you find out about, they simply will not work.

So, if you take one thing away from this article, let it be this: have faith. Use what I’ve taught you here and in my complete video tutorial and stay with it until it works. Hope you enjoyed The Very Best Advice To Get An Ex Back In 2021.

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